Temptation
by redlollypoplips
Summary: This story shows my version of events after Will storms into Alicia's office in season 4, episode 14 and follows them as they both confront and struggle with their feelings for one another. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1: Longing

**Temptation _by, Redlollypoplips_**

Chapter 1

_(This chapter contains spoilers for 4x14)_

* * *

Will stormed into Alicia's office. "You got a problem, you bring it to me. You _don't_ take it to court." He stood only inches from her face. His words were in pain but his eyes betrayed him. She could no longer pretend. He could no longer resist. _Temptation was a beautiful thing._

Moving closer to him she brought her hand up to his face and slowly dragged her index finger along his strong jawline. Alicia's profound desire for him overwhelmed her. The last few months had been unbearable. She wanted him. Catching Will off-guard Alicia placed his forefinger in her mouth and slowly _sucked_ its length. All the while, her eyes never leaving his. It was as if she could see into his soul. His eyes now burnt with desire for her. Alicia, he had learnt over the years could always surprise.

Placing his hand on the small of her back, he leaned in towards her and as he tenderly began placing butterfly kisses on her collar bone she flung her head back and moaned. Closing the last gap between them his lips met hers, tenderly at first, then hungrily. Tongues clashed and lips bruised. He tasted _so good_. Of alcohol mixed with strawberries and cream. Her imagination soared to unbearable heights. She wanted him to take her home. She wanted to rip open his perfectly ironed shirt and spray whipped cream over his chest, so that she could lick him clean.

Just as she could taste the luxurious cream, he forced her back into reality by grabbing her waist and hoisting her onto the desk. Completely ambivalent to the shutters that were open and the unlocked door, save for the fact that it was past 9pm and seemingly everyone had left, he began to slide his hand in between her legs. A thin thread of sheer nylon unravelled. His core being yearned for more of her. Will crouched down and shifted her skirt so that it was sitting just above her hips. As she placed both hands on his shoulders, he parted her legs and tugged at the thread with his finger, exposing her porcelain white skin. Alicia drew in a sharp breath as he placed a light kiss on her thigh.

It was then that she heard a faint ringing sound – were her ears ringing? Ignoring this, she pulled Will up to her and begun kissing his sweet and supple lips once more; the lips she had for so many months craved for. The ringing got louder and louder still, until she was shaken from the passion which so engulfed them both. It was then that she realised that her blackberry was ringing. It was Peter's ring tone.

Quickly she pulled away from Will, her eyes wide open in what seemed to be bewilderment and shock at the same time. He just looked at her, in his usual calm, patient manner. He understood. Always had. Afraid that her desire for him would betray her, she refused to look at him. She slid off the desk, readjusted her skirt and did up her blouse. And without so much as a word she left.

"What are you thinking?" she asked out loud as she crossed the lobby to the elevator.

A man in the building opposite exhausted from his work had found himself pacing his office floor and happened to see them. He now saw the other man sitting down, his face so sad that it almost looked as if he was in pain.

'Was he weeping?' the man wondered. He could not tell through the glazed window panels.

His own wife had kicked him out for having an affair with his secretary and he was now forced to spend his days and nights in his office- racked with guilt. He did not pity the man that he now watched. He _deserved _it, he thought. But what he was thinking could not be further from the truth.

Will placed his face in the palms of his hands. He could still smell her.

"What are you doing?" he shouted and kicked the desk.

She will never leave him.


	2. Chapter 2: Confused

Chapter 2

* * *

Will placed his hands on Laura's hips and slowly pulled her towards him. And as he whispered into her ear, Laura flung her head back and let out a throaty laugh. Sliding his hand up the small of her back he leaned in and kissed her. She responded, tenderly so.

Gently breaking their kiss, she said, "I think I'm starting to like you Will Gardner."

He smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. Looking into his soft brown eyes, she felt that when they were together he was never completely with her - like he was somewhere else. They had been seeing one another for almost a month now, but she did not even know what _this_ was. Whenever she tried to talk to Will about it - about where they were going, he would always try and change the subject.

She kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "Well, I _really_ should go."

Will looked at her quizzically, his eye brow arching. "Already? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, nothing, I just have a lot of work to catch up on."

"Drinks after trial tomorrow then?"

"Absolutely," she said and closed the door behind her.

Will slumped into his chair and turned off his office lamp, letting the darkness infiltrate the room. Laura wanted more from him, and he did not think he could give it to her. Of course he liked Laura; she was pretty, fun and had a witty repartee.

But, if he was being truly honest with himself, all this was a distraction from Alicia. They had vowed that they would not be found yet again in the same comprising situation. But a day later it had already been broken. As Alicia stood at the mouth of the elevator he told her it was "alright". Because how was he supposed to carry on without being alone with her_ and her only_, without her dark brown eyes meeting his own, without the accidental brush of her delicate hand on the cusp of his jacket.

He could remember their encounter in that elevator as though it had just happened. But in fact, it had been some weeks ago now and yet he could not let the memory go.

_"Alicia, it's alright"..._

_Alicia had her back to Will in the elevator, not wanting to make eye contact. But her body betrayed her and Will saw Alicia tremble ever so slightly as the breathing in her chest rose and fell._

_Will pressed the 'hold' button and Alicia's entire body stiffened. _

_Moving closer to her Alicia could feel his ragged breath on her neck. And in one fluid motion Will stripped off her navy blue jacket. Her breathing accelerated and her heart flattered as he begun to kiss the nape of her neck. _

_Letting out a deep groan he spun her around and passionately kissed her. He kissed her rouge top lip first then moved to her supple bottom lip. She tasted so good - of red wine. His sensual yet delicate touch made Alicia return the kiss with a feverish lust. She thrust her tongue into his mouth, tasting and savouring him. Will pressed her into the silver walls of the elevator, his hands trailing to her waist._

_Lost in the intensity and heat of the moment her hands moved to his trousers and begun to fumble with his buckle. _

_Forcing Alicia to stop, Will broke away from their kiss and they both stared at one another in a daze, as if in a dream. He pursed his lips and she let out a long sigh. _

_Will pressed the 'hold' button once more and they rode down in silence as she picked up her jacked and buttoned it over her blouse. _

_Getting into her Lexus she buttoned her white silk blouse. She could still feel Will's finger tips trailing over her skin – leaving her wanting more._

A knock at his office door broke his thoughts. And as he ushered the person in, he took a deep breath when he saw the figure standing before him.

"Alicia," was all he could manage to say.

"I saw Laura leave your office," she said, her voice hoarse.

Alicia shifted on her 9 inch Armani patent heels and tightly clenched both hands into small fists by her sides as she waited for Will to reply. Since putting an end to their lustful affair, Alicia's feelings for Will had grown; her desire for him had now turned into _need_. The exact opposite of what she had premeditated. Now more than ever she _craved_ him. And seeing Laura kiss him had sent a jabbing pain through her chest.

"I'm sorry Alicia, but I'm trying to move on. I thought that's what we decided - isn't this what you wanted?" He said as he tried to search her eyes for answers.

"Yes I know, but I just..."

She wanted to try and be honest with him. The phrase, _"no fuss, no muss" _came back to her; this whole façade was making her feel sick.

She walked closer to him now and he saw that her eyes were slightly puffy and her cheeks a shade of crimson red.

"What's the matter Alicia? You know you can tell me anything." Will reached out and held her hand, releasing it from its tight fist.

Aware of the contact, she flinched and walked towards the window where she had a magnificent view of the full moon that hovered over the Chicago bay. The dim light of the moon revealed her red bandaged dress which hugged the curves of her body. She was stunning.

"I just can't bear to see you with _another woman." _Her voice now no more than a whisper.

A tear streamed down her face, stinging her cheek. Wiping it away with her left hand, she continued to look at the peaceful night sky.

"It's strange you know," she hesitated before going on, "seeing you with Laura just now, I felt both jealous but at the same time happy for you – _all I want is for you to be happy Will."_

Will went to her.

"I know Alicia, I feel the same way."


	3. Chapter 3: Memories of the heart

Chapter 3

* * *

With their bodies so close, Will became engulfed in Alicia's perfume which smelt of rose with a hint of soft spice. And as he looked out onto the clear summer's night he remembered the first time he ever laid eyes on her – a memory that would live in his heart for evermore.

_That afternoon the sun beamed down brightly over Washington DC. It was the last day of orientation week at Georgetown and Will sat against an oak tree, thankful for the shade that it provided. He pulled out an apple from his backpack and took a bite._

_The week had been a busy one and it was good to get away a bit, to just sit and stare out onto the green. As he looked around he saw a baseball team eagerly practicing out on the oval and to his right sat a group of preppy cheerleaders gossiping about the latest scandal on campus. _

_"She's pregnant?" the blonde asked in a whisper._

_The blonde saw him looking at them. Her eyes lingered over him as she slowly blew a bubble with pink bubblegum. He casually winked back, smiling at her. The other girls saw and begun to giggle. Getting up, a sassy, pert cheerleader walked towards him._

_"We go out for drinks at the main campus bar every Friday night, you should come," she said, hands on hip. _

_"For sure – just promise me you'll be there," he said arching his eyebrow._

_"For you handsome – anything," she replied, her blue eyes wide with amusement._

_She sucked on her strawberry lollypop, then licked her full red lips before turning and walking back to where the other girls sat._

_A girl sitting opposite him peered up from her book and rolled her eyes before getting back to her novel. He could just make out the title – Emily Bronte's 'Wuthering Heights'._

_He would come to learn that her name was Alicia Cavanaugh; that her eyes appeared dark brown, but on a closer look green flecks run through her iris; and that every time he would look into their depths he would allow himself to fall._

_Her dark brown hair turned bombshell red in the afternoon light of the day, glistening in the thick rays of the sun. Her skin was porcelain, translucent even under her light blue sundress. Beautiful._

_Looking up once more from her novel her wide eyed gaze met his own. They stayed like that for a moment. It felt like time had froze. But just as Will was about to get up to talk to her, a tall, well built man with sleek jet black hair approached her._

_"Oh...Peter, hi," she said, blushing and trying to avert her eyes from the other man._

_Had she felt the same allure that he had just experienced, he wondered. _

_ "I thought you were coming to meet me at the courtside cafe?" he said, a half grin forming over his hard features. _

_"Yes, of course, I just...got distracted I guess," she replied, waving her book around._

_Her voice was soft yet, he noted that it became throaty when she got...nervous perhaps? He did not know but it was something that he wanted to find out. He wanted to know everything about her. _

_Holding his hand out, Peter helped her up and kissed her on the cheek. Hand in hand they walked away. Will looked on. And just as she was almost out of sight, she turned back and smiled at him. _

They had always had bad timing.

Drawing him back into reality was the touch of Alicia's soft hand on his own. As she continued to look out onto the soft waves harbouring in the bay she intertwined her long fingers with his own. She felt comfortable with him; safe.

"Is it serious...your relationship with Laura?" came her throaty voice.

"No," he replied and squeezed her hand.

"Just say the word Alicia and I'll be yours," he uttered in a whisper.

Turning to him, he could see the years of pain and hurt in her face. As tears welled up in her eyes, he began to gently caress her hair. He wanted her to be happy. Alicia spent most of her life trying to be good, trying to take the moral high ground, that she had forgotten how to be happy.

As she looked up at him, her bottom lip began to tremble and she could feel the palms of her hands become thick with sweat.

Will looked at her like no man had ever looked at her before.

She felt lost in his brown eyes. Will's eyes _pierced_ into her soul and as he placed his hand on her waist she _gasped_.

And it was then that Alicia realised that she was deeply in love with the man standing before her.


	4. Chapter 4: Pain and love

Chapter 4

_ - Thank you for all your lovely reviews - _

* * *

Alicia gently tugged at Will's pin striped tie allowing it to fall loose around his collar and unbuttoned his shirt. Her eyes lingered over his bare, toned chest as she seductively ran her manicured fingernails down his front, sensing his muscles tense beneath her touch. Alicia was _transfixed_ _by him_. Feeling his hands slide up her thigh beneath the hem of her dress she leaned forward and kissed his stomach eliciting a grunt from Will's mouth.

"Unzip my dress," she said, in a low voice.

And as Alicia began to kiss his neck he pressed her body into his own and with his right hand he pulled at the zip. Her dress slid from her body and fell to the floor, forming a pool around her ankles. Bringing her eyes to meet his own he looked at the woman _he had loved for so long_.

Standing there before him, she was _breathtaking_.

Looking at Will now in the dim light of the moon, Alicia saw that he had the same look in his eyes as that winter's night in Georgetown. When he had told her that he was in love with her.

_His feelings for her had never changed._

Tenderly, she brushed her hand against his cheek before placing it on his chest. Feeling Will's heart beat, Alicia let out a breath and closed her eyes. Then she took his hand and rested it on her own heart, feeling its warmth transpire throughout her entire body. Standing there, gazing into one another's eyes they could feel their pulses racing. At that moment nothing else mattered. Will saw that the pain in Alicia's eyes had now been replaced with love. Love that he witnessed in her face, her eyes and in the delicateness of her touch.

Passionately he took her by the waist and drew her to him. Alicia arched her back letting out a throaty groan, lust and need surging through her veins. She had not felt this way about any one before. This she was sure of – _this was a fact. _Feverishly, they licked, savoured and tasted, lips becoming swollen and bruised. Will traced his mouth across her heaving chest and slowly _sucked_ and kissed the hollow of her neck. Tilting her head towards the ceiling Alicia let out a deep moan of pleasure. She felt as if she was in a dream; the room had become obscure, the colors fuzzy. Bringing him to meet her gaze she pressed her body into his and kissed him with all the burning desire she felt burgeoning inside her, allowing her fingers to soothe his neck and run through his light brown hair. Alicia's head was now spinning.

Without warning she pulled away from him.

"Will, Will...we have to...I can't," she said, in a hoarse tone.

Panting and with a heavy heart she pulled away from him. Will stumbled backwards dazed and confused.

"Alicia...ww-hat? I don't understand," he said, his eyes searching her face for answers.

"I'm so _so sorry_ Will. Please forgive me," she said, her eyes pleading.

And these were the last words he heard as she quickly got dressed, collected her things and left his office.

She did not realise how hard she was trembling, until the large doors of the elevator closed. Her back was clammy with sweat and the hard, cold steel of the elevator pierced through her as she sat down. Burying her face in her palms Alicia took a deep breath and tried to regain her composure. She had wanted to be totally honest with Will; to tell him that she loved him. But her and Peter were finally making some progress and _this_ would completely destroy any chance they had left. Peter was her husband of 16 years and her children needed their father. She needed to try and make this work – _otherwise, what had all those years been for?_

Hearing a bleeping sound she broke from her thoughts to see the elevator doors wide open. She did not want to go home tonight. Getting into her car she felt a slight tingle on the side of her neck, just above her collarbone. Taking her hand mirror from her briefcase she saw that a small circle with a pinkish undertone had formed. Touching it, her eyelashes fluttered as she remembered the feel of Will's hot breath lingering over her skin, of his mouth gently sucking and licking the skin of her neck.

Opening her glove compartment she fished out a Gucci leopard print silk scarf and as she wrapped it around her neck she grinned seductively. Doing her best to try and ignore her fleeting desire to walk back up to his office, she retouched her lipstick, straightened her hair and drove home.

Peter was sitting down on their cream leather couch, red wine in hand. As he heard the front door open, he got up and raised his glass at her.

"Honey, you're home," he said, cocking his head to one side.

"Peter, hi. It's late; I thought you'd be asleep. Where are the kids?" She said slightly flustered.

"Zach's at a concert with his new girl friend and Grace is at a sleep over. I was waiting for you baby," he replied, with a wide eyed grin.

She wanted to wipe that smirk off his face.

"_So_ where _were you?_" he asked quizzically.

"Working," she replied, putting her bag on the kitchen bench.

Placing her hands on its marble surface, she let out a long sigh. Fatigue run through her making her grow weary.

"With _Will?_" he asked. His tone was now serious, almost bitter.

She had known that this was coming.

"Yes with _Will_...working. My God Peter, we've gone over this. I work with Will and we _are_ friends. The end," she answered, eyeing him in direct confrontation.

"You're lying," he hissed back.

"Peter, you are_ not_ the victim here. I'm the one who has been deeply hurt. But, _no one seems to care_," she spat.

Her hazel eyes now turned a shade of deep brown, moistened by the tears that now welled in them. But Peter stood his ground; he had always been ruthless when it came to defending his own skin. Yet, just as he was going to open his mouth in retaliation she did not let him.

"Just stop it Peter! You hear me _stop it!_" She lashed out.

"If we're going to try and make this work, we cannot keep having the same conversation," she said, as she took in a deep breath trying to regain her composure.

Peter stared at her blankly, _motionless; _realising that he had gone too far. After a few moments he walked towards her.

"Sorry Alicia," he said, staring down at her in attempt to make her gaze meet his own.

Leaning forward he placed his hands on her waist. But Alicia pulled away, her hands up above her shoulders signalling for him to stop.

"Peter, _no, don't_," she said in a defensive tone.

"Ok, alright, that's fine," he said, taking a step backwards.

Alicia walked around him and begun to pour herself a glass of red.

"Umm, it's late," he said.

"Yes, you go to bed Peter, I need to finish up some paper work for trial tomorrow," she said, as she took a sip of the bitter sweet alcohol.

"Ok, night then," he said.

Before closing their bedroom door her looked around and asked, "but, we're good right?"

"Yes, Peter, we're fine," she said, nodding in response.

As he closed the door she walked towards the lounge and sat their drinking. Then opening the drawer to the mahogany coffee table she fished out a magazine that she kept right at the bottom beneath other bits and bobs. She flipped through it slowly until she found the page – 'Will Gardner, Chicago's most eligible Bachelor'.

She thought of the phrase that Stephanie Engler had said –

_"If you love someone, don't you set them free?"_

If she wanted to make things work with Peter she could not keep doing this to Will. It was selfish of her.

But a part of her, a piece of her heart could not set Will free.


	5. Chapter 5: Trapped

Chapter 5

* * *

Through his now smashed bathroom mirror Will stared at the warped image reflected back at him.

His eyes were bloodshot and his face gaunt. Shards of glass lay scattered in and around the sink. Looking down at the emerald green tiles he saw more remnants of glass and splattered blood on the bathtub mat. A sharp pain ran up his forearm and down his hand, which had begun to throb. Opening his clenched fist he saw that a small gash had now formed where he had earlier cut himself. As he sat down on the edge of the tub, stomach acid burnt in his chest and every bone and muscle in his body ached.

_The door slammed loudly behind him as he entered his apartment and began to pour himself a glass of whisky. Anger and bitterness surged through his veins. All these years spent pining after her in the hope that one day she would come back to him, had all been for nothing. _

_All that time, he had been chasing a ghost. _

_The bitter liquid scorched, trickling down his throat. He wanted to forget; he wanted the pain of wanting, of needing her so desperately to vanish just for tonight. But deep down he knew that no matter how hard he tried nothing could ever make him forget the feelings that he had for so long harboured for her. And he wondered if he could ever be freed from the perilous throes that lurked in the depths of his subconscious. __Or would he be forced to live out his days trapped within his own mind?_

_ Ignoring the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach he downed his fourth glass of whisky. _

_Had she ever loved him?_

_And with that thought a sharp, piercing pain shot through his chest making him clutch his heart in anguish. Staggering towards the bathroom, he placed his glass beside the sink and just as he was about to reach for the aspirin bottle, the pain began to escalate. And he felt as though he could not breathe. Steadying himself, he curled both hands around the edge of the sink. Grasping onto it, he slowly inhaled in and exhaled out. _

_'No,' he muttered to himself as he shook his head._

_She had always loved Peter and he had just been second best. Sweat began to drip down his forehead as his head begun to turn and spin in circles. Turning on the cold water tap he filled up his glass. But when the opening of the glass touched his lips, he paused. Will's eyes shifted from the glass to the mirror. He needed to do something to make this nightmare end. _

_He threw the glass against the mirror, smashing it. _

_Collapsing against his bathtub he cut the palm of his hand on a splinter of glass. Grimacing, Will rested his head against the cool side of the tub and closed his eyes. After what seemed to be only a moment or two he began to see her. _

_He saw Alicia's face. _

_Her gleaming dark hair, her incandescent red lips and her porcelain skin. _

_Dark brown eyes pierced into the depths of his soul; a darkness that would never end. _

Removing the splinters of glass from the sink he opened the faucet, allowing the cool water to spray over the small gash in his palm. He then took some aspirin, bandaged his hand and climbed into bed, still fully clothed and with his shoes on. His head felt heavy on the pillow and as he leaned onto his right side the florescent green digits on his radio alarm showed that it was now 2 in the morning.

That night, Will went to sleep not with a longing for the woman he loved but, with despair. Despair from a _love, long lost_. And it was that agony that hurt him the most and that made him cry out her name in the middle of the night.

_-"Alicia" -_

He awoke the next day to a knock on his front door. At first he thought it was a dream and ignored it but after a while the knocking escalated into a very loud banging. Scrambling out of bed and onto his feet, Will's head pounded and he felt nauseous. Opening the door he saw Kalinda standing in his hallway. Her arms folded over her chest and the heel of her knee high boot clicking against the hard wooden floor. A look of annoyance was plastered along her soft features. Kalinda did not like to wait for anything or anyone.

"Hi Kalinda," Will said.

His voice was coarse and his mouth felt dry.

"Will, I've been trying to get hold of you since 8 AM, when I came across some evidence to..."

Kalinda stopped abruptly as she noticed the look of distress on Will's face. He was so pale, almost a sickly grey color. Harsh lines protruded underneath his slightly puffy eyes and his hand was roughly bandaged with gauze. Shoving past him, she strode into his apartment. Stepping onto the timbre floorboard of his living room she could smell the bitter scent of dry whisky that hung over the entire room. Turning round she saw that Will had slouched down into his antique leather couch.

"Will are you ok?" she asked, eyes narrowed.

"Yes, fine," he said hesitating, "I just overslept that's all."

He tried to sound indifferent but the muscles in his face betrayed him. His mouth was down turned and his eyes moist, sad.

She was not one to pry but, this was Will and she cared about him. So, she pushed a little further.

"Umm, _ok_," she said mordantly.

Cocking her head to one side she went on, "so... you _overslept_ and Alicia was crying this morning because she _lost a case_ yesterday."

"She was?" He asked, in a grave tone.

Looking over her shoulder she saw him staring right back at her; immobile.

"You should talk to her," she said as she placed one hand on her hip.

"What for? She'll always choose Peter over me," he retorted.

His gaze now shifted to the large immaculate window. He peered out onto the bustling city of Chicago below him.

"Don't you understand Will? Peter and the life they built together is all she's ever had. She accustomed to it, it's safe. But you, Will - _you are the love of her life_. And she's scared," she said soft-heartedly.

Deep down he knew how much Alicia cared for him and that she did in fact love him.

But, he could no longer keep living his life like _this_.

The pain was becoming unbearable. He had to move on.

"No. I'm done Kalinda," he said as he stared out onto the blazing evening sun.


	6. Chapter 6: Trance

Chapter 6

_-Thank you for all your recent reviews - _

* * *

As Alicia sat in her over-sized glass office she gazed at the morning's light blue sky and recounted the events of that momentous yet, ill-fated night. In those hours of darkness Alicia had experienced everything at once.

She could feel the way his long, delicate fingers had snaked around her waist sending a shiver down her spine. Will knew _what_ she needed and _when_ she needed it the most. He made her loose herself and just be. Alicia remembered the moment that their lips had feverishly locked, making her moan into his mouth. And how his parted lips had lingered over her smooth skin and _sucked_ at the hollow of her neck, indulging all her senses and in her state of complete euphoria, _she cried out for more, craving more of him. _

Reaching its peak the sunlight's auburn rays pierced and stung her eyes, forcing her to look away. It had become hot and sticky in her office. And as she shrugged off her beige Ralph Lauren blazer, _she saw him_.

Alicia's dark brown eyes widened as her breath caught in her chest.

Will strode past her office, shoulders down and head held high. Stopping to look at one of his files, she had sworn that his eyes had momentarily darted in her direction. Entering the large conference room adjacent to her office he was greeted by Diane and a host of other peers. As the crowd began to settle down Will walked up to the front of the room, readjusted his blue satin tie and begun to speak. Looking across the room's spectacular width, Alicia saw Diane stretching out her hand, gesturing for her to come and join them. Smiling at her, Alicia got up and walked towards the conference room, taking a seat towards the back of the room.

And she watched him.

_She loved his soft brown eyes and how vividly they danced when he was excited; _

_She loved it when he furrowed his brow the moment he knew that something was not quite right; _

_She loved his smile and his school boy laugh; _

_She loved that he understood her and would do anything in his power to give her what she needed;_

_And most of all she loved - how he loved her. _

But she would not permit herself to think about that right now. _No, she must not._ Because if she did, it would be to allow herself to fall; to experience a love which had no boundaries and that scared her. Peter was her husband and she had vowed to try and make their marriage work. And even though every part of her being screamed out in defying protest, she could not give into temptation. She could not give herself to Will.

And with a heavy heart she muffled those screams.

Owen was right, she thought, it would have been better if this was only her way of rebelling.

Then the meeting was over, and just as Alicia was about to exist the conference room, Diane approached her. "Alicia, I just wanted to talk to you about..."

But, Alicia could not seem to concentrate on what Diane was saying. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Will gather up his files and other paper work and roughly shove them into his briefcase. He seemed like he wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. Alicia watched as he exited the conference room.

And just when he was almost out of sight, he turned around.

Through the glass pane their eyes met; brown on brown. Her heart melted. And what was only a second or two felt like an hour, as they stood there gazing into each another eyes.

"Alicia, _A-li-cia,_" came Diane's sing-song voice.

Bringing her back into reality she saw Diane staring at her, face quizzical, eye brow arched. She had not heard a word that the other woman had said.

"Alicia, you seem to be miles away today, _everything alright?_" Diane narrowed her eyes then looked round, glancing in the direction where Alicia had previously been staring. But no one was there.

"Sorry Diane, I've just been a little distracted lately. It's just that with Kresteva now on the scene, it's been hard for Peter. For all of us really," she replied, apologetically. And it was true, Peter's campaign had taken quite a hit and she and the kids had tried to pull together to support him. But, that had defiantly not been the reason why she had been distracted lately.

"Right, _yes_. Just try _not_ to let it interfere with your work, hmm...?" Diane asserted, resting her perfectly manicured hand on her hip.

"_Of course_ Diane." Diane thought she had heard a hint of sarcasm in Alicia's tone but, decided to ignore it. She had often wondered whether Alicia was as complicit and prim as she led on.

"Now, as I was saying I've put you and Will on that case that I talked to you about earlier, are you okay with that?" Diane had sensed that there had been some tension lately between the pair. And she had had her reservations about assigning them the case but, they were two of the best lawyers and her doubts were exactly that – _doubts_.

"Umm...yes, sounds great," she responded, forcing a smile.

"Good. Well, Will's looking over the case brief now, so perhaps you too should go through it together?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Of course. I just have to sort some things out and I'll be right over," she replied, gesturing to the pile of paperwork on her desk.

"Great," Diane said, giving her the thumbs up before leaving the conference room.

Alicia placed both hands on her glass desk and exhaled as she tried to compose herself. She had stayed late last night finishing off the stack of paper work on her desk in an effort to keep her mind from wandering and thinking about things she really should _not be_ thinking about.

She had lied to Diane. She had nothing to sort out.

Alicia just did not know how she would be able to _breathe _with _him_ in the same room.

Gathering up the appropriate files, Alicia tried to bury her feelings for Will, telling herself that he was no more than a business partner. She was an independent woman who would not let some school yard crash get in the way of her career and marriage.

But, as she walked out of her office and past the elevators her self-assurance began to wane and the unsteady clicking of her black stilettos against the newly varnished wooden floors made her feel light-headed. Reaching the side pane of his office, she stopped and peered into the glass. He looked _so_ sad. The confidence that she had seen resonate in his eyes that morning had now vanished and in its place lay pain and doubt. Dropping his pen back into its cup holder he shoved the brief to one side and cradled his face in his hands.

_Had she done this to him?_


	7. Chapter 7: In a world of their own

Chapter 7

* * *

Guilt seemed to paralyse Alicia's entire body as she now stood at Will's glass panelled office door. She had spent most of her married life thinking that the amiable and somewhat compassionate relationship with Peter had been enough. Then Will had come into her life and awakened her senses, introducing her to a completely different world. She had become _infatuated_ with him. He loved her with a tenderness and ardour that she had never thought to experience. Something she believed only happened on day time soaps like "_Bold & the Beautiful",_ where Ridges' love for Brooke – _or was it Taylor? – _was pure and never ending. Will loved her without any obligation or without any questions. He loved her for who she was. Will had changed everything; turned her world upside down.

He had been her one true thing. And she had hurt him.

Her heart pounded viciously against her chest.

_This was anything but a school yard crush._

At the sound of a faint knock on his office door, Will looked up from his desk to see Alicia standing on the opposite side of the glass. And from the shifting of her feet and the way her hands were tightly clenched by her sides he could tell that something was not right. Will's eyes narrowed and a look of concern spread across his face. Waving his hand, he ushered her in. As Alicia stepped into his office and closed the heavy door behind her, Will rose to his feet; his eyes darting left and right through the transparent glass walls, checking for wandering eyes before locking the door and drawing his lilac blue curtains. Anxiously he walked over to her.

Standing face to face, Alicia looked flushed and slightly on edge.

"Alicia, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice thick and raspy.

"Will...I..." hesitating, Alicia looked down to the floor then back to his eyes. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry but, the moment that she tried opening her mouth, she felt as if someone was gagging her. Not one single sound came.

"What? _What is it Alicia?_ Whatever it is you can tell me." Searching her face for answers Will placed his hands on either side of her small shoulders and rubbed, comforting her. His affectionate, lingering caress seemed to make her feel better, easing her nerves. Suddenly, Alicia flinched at his touch.

"No, Will, _no_, I don't deserve your kindness." Alicia shook her head and took a small step backwards.

"_Sorry_, I don't understand?" He said, bewildered.

"Will, after everything I've put you through...how can you still be _so kind?" _Irritated with herself Alicia ran her fingers through her straightened dark brown hair.

"Will, I'm _so very sorry_." Alicia looked into his eyes apologetically hoping for his forgiveness.

The extensive frame of his window cast a shadow over the side of her face, making her eyes appear a deep dark brown, almost onyx. And through the perpetual darkness he saw a world of pain. Not the same pain that he had seen before. Something had changed.

This time guilt flooded within them.

"Alicia, don't be sorry, _it's fine_." His tone was so soothing and gentle that it made her heart flutter a little. She could never come to terms with how well he understood her. It was these sweet moments that she cherished.

Extending his hand out to hers, she noticed the lining of bandage on his right hand just below his wrist. Alicia took his hand in hers and rolled up the sleeves of his navy blue shirt. Carefully she began to slowly remove the thin fabric from his hand. And as the last of the material fell from his hand and onto the ash grey carpet, Alicia drew in a sharp breath and her eyes widened in alarm.

"Will, what happened?" she asked, as she continued to examine his bruised palm.

"I..umm, accidently cut myself while...chopping up an onion last night, that's all," he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

But she could tell by the tone of his voice and the way that his shoulders tensed, that he was not telling her the truth. But it did not matter. She just wanted to make the pain he was feeling go away. Alicia traced her index finger along the scar of his palm and tenderly kissed it.

"Will," she said.

But he did not hear her. His mind had wandered into a daze from the moment she had touched his hand.

"_Will_," she repeated.

Will blinked, "Hmm...yes?"

"I need to tell you something, will you listen?" she asked.

"Yes, Alicia, _you can tell me anything_," he said as he gently brushed a stray strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

Alicia let out a long sigh and began to speak, "My life has been dominated by rules and routine. I was a stay at home mom, who took and picked the kids up from school, cooked and waited for _the state's attorney; _my husband to come home. I've spent most of my marriage consoling and comforting Peter, telling him that everything will be alright. Never to ask anything in return," pausing momentarily she looked up at Will only to see him deep in concentration, waiting for her to go on. "But then _it _happened and I came to L&G and we crossed paths again. _How I had hoped to see you again._ And bit by bit I started to break my own rules. I started to say to myself, _why_ should I reassure a man who does not bother to ask if I'm okay, _why_ should I wait for him every night?..."

Suddenly she stopped and looked at him. And like she was seeing him for the first time she stretched out her right arm and stroked his cheek.

"_Hmm...Will_...every time I even so much as see you; when I'm near you; when you accidently brush your hand against mine...I just...God Will...I just..."

Will smiled and took her hand in his placing it on his chest before continuing her sentence, "_you just..._feel like you can't breathe; feel like time has stopped just for us and that at that very moment nothing else matters...?"

"_Yes..._what are we going to do?"she said, her brow furrowed with concern.

Abruptly, he released his grip from her hand and stepped away from her. And as he looked outside his window at the waves crashing against the tide he said, "Nothing. We do nothing."

They could not keep doing this. It, _this _was hurting them both.

Alicia looked almost dumbstruck.

"_Nothing?" _she blurted out, "_what,_ so we go on and live our lives like nothing has happened?"Upon saying the words it was then that Alicia realised that that's not what she had wanted when she had come into his office. She never thought that their relationship would come to this.

She never thought that she would fall so hard for the man standing opposite her.

"No, we try to forget." Lines of exhaustion now crossed his face.

He knew he would come to regret saying this to her; _lying to her_. He had come to terms with the fact that he could never forget her and the fond memories that they had shared together. But, this was for the best, _for both of them._

Alicia's face grew pale as she averted her eyes away from him and looked down at her hands. Fingering her gold wedding band Alicia thought about the reason she had given herself all those years ago for ending things with Will. Now it seemed silly and immature. And in that moment of anger and frustration she wanted to rip it off her finger.

"Alicia _look_ at me," Will whispered, "I will never, _never_ stop caring about you," he said, soft-heartedly.

"Maybe we can try being friends again?" she said, her eyes now pleading.

As Will moved closer to her she could now see the despair in his face.

"Alicia, we will _always _be friends because _that_ is the only thing left holding us together." Passionately Will grabbed her by the wrists and drew her into him, eliciting a gasp from Alicia's red lips. Lust and yearning now rushed through Will's veins as he clasped her small clenched fists in his hands.

"Friendship is _the only thing. Don't you see Alicia?" _He whispered softly to her.

Those words rung and chimed in her ears as she began to feel his feverish lips lingering over her jaw line and down the nape of her neck. Alicia's breathing became heavy, almost erratic and her entire body shook with a burning desire.

In a world of their own they stood star-struck, gazing at one another. And for that one moment in time they allowed themselves to fall into the darkness. Closing the gap between them Will kissed her and Alicia let him. Kissing him tenderly, a salty teardrop slid down Alicia's burning cheek.

And it was then that it dawned on her - this was their long kiss goodbye.

This was the end. It had to be. _Didn't it?_


	8. Chapter 8: Ruthless

Chapter 8

* * *

The events of the day had left Will utterly drained. All he wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed and forget everything that had happened. He could still feel the warmth of her breath on his cheek and the touch of her soft, supple red lips feverishly pressing into his own. He would never forget how her arms had desperately wrapped around his waist, clutching onto him, begging for him to stay with her for just a little while longer.

Forcing himself up from the smooth burgundy leather armchair he saw a piercing beam of light reflect off his glass panelled office door. Peering across the narrow corridor he saw that it was coming from the emerald green desk lamp in Diane's office. Diane had appeared stressed and slightly on edge during the past week. She was the first to come into the office and the last out, working into the small hours of the night. He assumed it had something to do with their latest case, which had been proving to be a lot more difficult then he would care to admit. Yet today when they had finally made a breakthrough, she still seemed somewhat displeased. When he had made his concluding statements, she had simply stood up, put on her black opaque sunglasses and left.

Will turned off his computer, picked up his Hugo Boss leather briefcase and flicked off the lights before heading out. But as he walked past Diane's office, she waved her hand, gesturing for him to come in. Gauging by the disgruntled look on her face, this would not be a pleasant conversation. Holding the door ajar, Will poked his head in. "Yes, what is it Diane?" Looking up from her reading glasses Diane motioned for him to sit down. He had to make up an excuse to get out of there. He had had enough emotional drama for one day. "Diane, sorry but I really can't stay long. I have to _go..._" he hesitated before continuing, "I have to go home."

Diane arched her eyebrow, not looking at all impressed. "To do what _exactly_?" He appeared to be somewhat anxious as his fingers gripped the side of the dark chestnut armchair opposite hers. And when no response came she sneered, "feed your cat or _I know_ see your _wife_?" Jerking her head back on her neck she let out a high pitched laugh which echoed throughout the glassed office. "_Please _Will we both know that you have nothing important to do, so why don't you just do us both a favour and sit down hmm?" Diane removed her glasses and drummed her French manicured fingernails on the wooden desk.

"_Christ," _he thought, "_she really was in a mood." _Will exhaled loudly, reluctantly taking a seat. "Whatever is so important Diane, that we must talk at this time of the night?" He asked, slouching back into the rigid armchair.

"I just received a call from the prosecution."

Will cocked his head to the side and looked at her ironically. "And,what they wanted to congratulate us on our efforts today?"

"_No."_ Diane swallowed hard and pressed her lips together. "They umm...they said that they have evidence that someone at L&G bribed Kurt McVeigh into lying on the stand," she said trying hard to hide the quiver in her voice.

He screwed up his face in bewilderment and asked curiously, "Who? _The ballistics guy_?"

"Yes."

"But, _no_, that can't be right." He shook his head, furrowing his brow. "That's why he's so cheap. If he thought that our client had done it he would be off the case. He doesn't seem the type to go back on his word, even if someone did try to bribe him. Plus the guy keeps to himself, I've never even seen him have an actual conversation with anyone apart from you." Then he saw lines of guilt spread across her face. Will's eyes grew wide with alarm as he leaned over the desk. "_It was you," _he whispered, eyes never leaving hers.

"I didn't bribe him. I would never," she said defensively.

Will got up and began to pace the room. "I know Diane, _I know_. But don't sit there and tell me that you didn't so much as _hint _at him to bend the truth a little?"

"I most certainly did not. I might have mentioned in passing that we were going through some financial turmoil. But that's _it,_" she retorted.

"You know exactly why he did it." He stopped pacing and looked directly at her. "He did it _for you_ Diane."

She waved her arm around, brushing off his comment. "Don't be absurd."

"It was all for you. _And you let him_."

Rising to her feet, she walked towards him. She wore a white bandaged dress. The material clung to her in all the right places and showed off her long, lean legs. Will had never failed to take notice of her. With every step she took, every tilt of her head she oozed poise and charm. Men were frightened by her head-strong, quick-tempered personality, but would swoon to her at her whim. And she knew it. She now stood close to him. A little too close for comfort. "I see the way you _strut_ over to him, how you whisper sweet nothings into his ear when you think no one's looking and the way he looks at you when you enter a room."

"Stop it Will. You're embarrassing yourself," she quipped.

"God Diane, you really got him wrapped up around your finger don't you? You _used_ him." Irritably he ran his hands through his thick brown hair. "For the sake of one case our firm could be on the line. And it's all _your_ fault. How could you allow this to happen Diane?"

"It was a multi-million dollar case." Taking a few steps backwards she leaned against her desk, looking down at her hands. "The Chief Justice owes me a favour. I'll just give her a call and this whole thing will be sorted."

"For us you mean. And Kurt? You do know he'll get done for perjury, right?" He saw the guilt, the sadness running through her eyes. A feature she could not mask. "Oh I see, that's the deal is it? Get him for perjury and set us free? Wow! I never thought you could be so _ruthless_. So completely _cruel_."

The words scolded her, piercing through her chest. Steadying herself Diane coiled her hands around the curved edges of the desk. She had tried to bury the feelings she had developed for Kurt, but she could not seem too. It was frustrating. She could do anything; overcome any obstacle. But _this _was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do_. _Nevertheless she had to do it.

The firm was all she had. Men would come and go.

It wasn't like Will to take things so personally. But as she stood there looking at him she remembered his little dalliance with the ex house wife, now attorney.

Smirking, she folded her arms over her plunging neckline and clicked her gold patent heel against the wooden floor. "What as _ruthless _as Alicia you mean?"

"Alicia?"

Now she walked towards him again. "Like, _she_ _used you?_"

"You don't know what you're talking about Diane," he quipped.

"She's been using you from day one Will! That's how she made junior associate and that's how one day she'll make partner."

Will stood his ground, refusing to move an inch. "How does that have anything to do with this? When have I ever risked this firm?" he retorted.

"_Damn well you have!" _She was _so sick and tired_ of taking the blame for every single thing. He had risked much more than she ever had. "Last year you were sleeping with the state's attorney's wife! You wanted to protect her; didn't want to see her get hurt. And in the process you jeopardized our firm – you lost your damn license to practice law! " Diane's upper lip curled in contempt. "So next time you come in here pointing the finger at me, I would think twice."

"There was nothing I could have done."

"C'mon Will! Everyone knew that the idea of you bribing judges during basketball games was _ludicrous_," she said rolling her eyes. "You should have faced Florrick. You should have let Alicia go from the firm."

He knew she was right. But he could not bear to see her in any more pain. He would do anything for her.

"And all that time, she stood by her husband, didn't she?"

He narrowed his eyes. "She didn't stand by Peter. They were separated."

Will walked around like the world was his oyster. But today, _today_ he would hear the truth. "But she didn't defend you either did she?"

"You don't know her."

She stared down at him, her translucent blue eyes brooding into his soul. "Alicia will always choose Peter over you Will _and you know it._"

"That's enough Diane," he spat back at her.

"You're just her pawn and _oh, yes,_ good for a bit of fun – to _get her off_," she hissed.

Will grabbed her by the arm, shaking her still. "Enough!"

Diane did nothing. His fury ignited her own pain and stirred her on. "_Ruthless_," she scoffed. " I've only just practically met the guy. But you – you've been pining after her you're entire adult life. And she just keeps _feeding you_, letting you think that there's still hope." Diane now walked around him and seductively pressed her lips up to his left ear. "Now that's ruthless."

He looked her dead straight in the eye. "No. She's not like that Diane. She is not like _you_."

Diane snatched her arm from his grip and taking Will completely off guard, she slapped him hard across the face. "STOP IT WILL! DO YOU HEAR ME? Don't ever take that tone with me again! I am not another one of your _lackeys_! I am your business partner! _Christ_, what happened to us." Her voice was thick and hoarse. Will turned his face away from her and placed his hand to the cheek that she had slapped. He could feel the red lace-like rash budding underneath the skin.

With an almost impassive expression on her face, Diane brushed her dark caramel blonde hair behind both ears and walked towards her desk and sighed deeply before sitting down. She had not wanted things to get this far. As much as she did not want to admit it, the truth was that they had both started losing perspective. And now they were swimming in very dangerous waters.

" I've ended things with Alicia. For good this time." Will admitted, looking back at her.

But as Diane looked into the inner most depths of his brown eyes she recognised the look of despair and pain in his eyes because she had seen that look in the mirror reflected from her own eyes. She pointed to the glass door. "Just go Will. I'm suddenly very tired," she said, averting her gaze from his own. And as he left, closing the door behind him, she swivelled her chair around and stared outside her window, onto the bay, the darkness engulfing her. This whole mess had started just because she had wanted to confide in Kurt. She told him about the problems they'd been having and how much the firm meant to her. But, she did not know that he would go to the extent of lying on the stand for her. No one had ever done anything like that for her. But there was no way out. And as much as it hurt, as much as it crushed her heart, she had to fix it. It was then she realised that she would always be alone in this world. "**_Ruthless_**_," _he had said. She turned off her lamp and as she cradled her face in her hands she began to cry, sobs turning into long drawn out screams.

As soon as the elevator doors pulled shut, Will placed one hand against the wall and pulled at his tie, letting it fall loose around the scruff of his collar. Breathing heavily, he could feel the cold hard steel of the wall burn against the clammy palm of his hand. The words swirled around in his head, "she used you"; "ruthless"; "getting off". He had tried not to listen, but somehow he could not. And he found a part of him agreeing with her.

_But_ what had pained him the most and stuck in his throat was when Diane had said, _"Alicia will always choose Peter."_ Hearing the words out loud made it seem so final, _so real_.

The pounding in his chest became erratic and it felt like someone had placed their hand inside him and ripped out his heart.


	9. Chapter 9: A present from Colin Sweeney

Chapter 9: A present from Colin Sweeney

* * *

Will pulled down the top of his midnight blue BMW convertible and let the smooth summer breeze wash over him. He should have been pleased with himself today; it wasn't everyday that they won a multi-million dollar suit. He and Diane had made amends and Diane had somehow struck a deal with the Chief Justice, barring the prosecution from filing a legal suit against their firm and against their ballistics expert, Kurt McVeigh. But instead he felt the complete opposite; _miserable_. Sometime ago he still believed that there still lied some hope for him and Alicia. But, the events that followed the night where she had rushed out his office after they had unexpectedly kissed had made him realise that his feelings for her would never fully be reciprocated. Even though Diane's words had been in pain and she had apologised, they both knew that she was right; _Alicia would always choose Peter_. And even though it pained him to the very fibre of his being, he had to confront the truth.

As Will approached his apartment he was taken by surprise at the figure that was standing at his doorstep. Laura casually leaned against the tall door frame with a bottle of champagne in one hand. She looked sassy wearing a cream white buttoned down shirt with high-waisted pants and black strappy heels.

"Hello stranger." Her mouth twisted into a half grin as she attempted to hide her frustration. They had planned to meet up at his tonight but he had obviously forgotten and she had been waiting now for almost an hour.

"Laura...hi, this is a surprise." Will cocked his head to the side and forced a smile.

"_Is it?"_ she asked rhetorically, seeming slightly irritated.

His mind had been so far away lately that he could not for the life of him remember whether they had planned to see each other tonight. "Sorry, did we have a date _or something?_"

She could not believe what an idiot she had been, waiting for him there, when he didn't even remember she existed. She arched her eyebrow and placed a hand to her hip. "No, I wouldn't really call it a date. We said we'd meet up after work to celebrate your big win today. _You don't remember?_"

He extended his hand out to hers and gave it a tight squeeze. "Laura, I'm really sorry, it's just that, well it's been a really long day." His tone was apologetic and sincere.

And when his soft caring eyes met hers, Laura's heart melted. Will was one of those people who could make you feel _so special_. She could be such a push over sometimes, she thought. Shrugging she said, "No harm done; really it's fine."

"I hope you haven't been waiting for too long?" he asked, caressing her cheek.

"Actually, only a few minutes or so. I was out having drinks with my friends at that new bar down the road anyway," she said casually. But it was a lie. She had gotten home, had dinner and tried on several outfits before picking this one out. She wanted to look sexy but smart at the same time; something that said she wasn't trying too hard. "I mean if I hadn't been so close by, I would have _totally blown you off_," she said sarcastically.

He grinned. "And I would not expect any less from you."

"But, really, if you want I can go," she said gesturing to the lift.

Will took out his key and turned the lock. "No, that's fine. Come in." Walking inside, he took the champagne off Laura's hands and went to his liquor cabinet. "Make yourself comfortable. I'll just put this on ice and pour us a drink. What do you want?"

"Oh I don't really mind. Whatever you're having is fine." She sat down on the brown leather couch and placed her hands on her lap. She had never been in his lounge before. The times she had been there they would always rush to the bedroom and when she left it was always in the early hours of the morning.

Will really was not in the mood for entertaining tonight. But, maybe this would help take his mind off things. And really what could he have done when she was standing there on his door step? He pulled out an engraved whisky decanter and delicately poured the smooth, dry liquid into two crystal glasses. Lifting it to his lips he heard the ice cubes clink together, the sound resonating in his ears. He looked back at where Laura was sitting and resentfully pressed his lips together. He was being selfish, leading her on like that when he knew that he was not ready to commit to the kind of relationship that he knew she wanted. He could see that she was falling for him. She tried to hide it from him, but he could see it in her touch, her tender kisses and the way she hesitantly glanced at him when she thought he was not looking.

"Here we go, one whisky on the rocks," he said, handing her the glass.

"Thanks," she replied, smiling softly.

Suddenly his blackberry started to ring. Will jerked it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. It was Alicia. He could feel his heart start to pound against his chest.

She pulled a face. "Who is it? Another one of your _many girlfriends?_"

But he ignored her comment and continued to look down at his phone until the name vanished from the screen. "It's just work," he quipped.

"Then why didn't you take the call?" she asked, now looking at him suspiciously.

He shoved the phone back into his trouser pocket and sat down next to her, casually placing a hand on her knee. "I'm with you now. No calls." he said taking a sip from his glass. But Laura grabbed the whisky from his hand and set it on the table before passionately kissing him, licking and savouring the bitter liquid from his lips. He responded, kissing her back. He knew he should stop, that this would only give her more false hope but, her soft supple lips and her bubbly demeanour served for a distraction from his usual world of pain and hurt. He pulled her closer to him and placed soft kisses on the nape of her neck. She jerked her head back and let her wavy brown hair cascade down her back. Hoisting her up so that she was now sitting on his lap she started to giggle as he begun to unbutton her blouse. But then something caught her eye. She broke away from him, glancing sideways at what appeared to be a large rectangular object covered in brown paper leaning against his bookshelf.

"What's that?" She asked.

He loosened his grasp from her waist and looked to where she was pointing. "Hmm? Oh that. It's a painting."

She arched her eyebrow, sitting back down next to him. "I didn't know you were into art?"

"I'm not. It was given to me by..." he paused before saying, "Colin Sweeney."

"What? _The_ Colin Sweeney?"

He smirked, lifting his glass up to her in a mock toast. "Yep. The man himself."

"You have to help me out here Will. Why would Colin Sweeney give you a painting?" Her eyes moved from bewilderment to concern as she saw how Will's face now grew serious, apprehensive almost.

_Colin Sweeney placed the large rectangular shaped item across the leather couch in his office._

_His piercing blue eyes danced with amusement. "For you."_

_Will eyed it with suspicion. "What is it?"_

"_A present." His upper lip curled. "Well, when Alicia returned it to me, I could not think of any one else more appropriate to give it to."_

_He froze, staring blankly at him. "Alicia?"_

"_Yes," he mused maliciously. "She doesn't seem to care much for art work," he paused, letting out a sigh of contempt. "Such a shame really, don't you think?" Suddenly he walked towards Will, stopping when he was only inches from him and looked him dead straight in the eye. Then his eyes quickly darted just above his head and he pointed to the abstract painting hanging on the wall. "But you on the other hand, Mr Gardner seem to be a fan of our spectacular art world. Yes?" he questioned through gritted teeth, feeling a sense of pleasure from seeing that he had made the other man nervous, or dare he say, frightened of him. _

_Will shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped backwards, trying to hide his nerves. "No, the paintings came with the office. Purely for decoration."_

"_But this painting,' he said pointing to the object on the couch, "isn't like any other painting; it's different. Upon seeing it, I'm sure you'll become a renaissance man, like myself. Upon seeing it you will understand," he said knowingly._

"_Understand what?" he retorted, furrowing his brow._

"_The thing that most burdens you; that eats at you inside, until you can no longer feel anything but pain; until you can no longer hear anything but the screaming coming from inside you," he hissed, wide-eyed._

"Will? Hello?" came Laura's voice.

"Hmm...What? Sorry Laura."

He appeared perplexed, like he was coming out of a daze. "God Will, you seemed miles away. Did you even hear what I was saying?"

"Yes. Of course I did," he lied.

"So you'll come with me to my painting class next week?"

"Umm...yes, sure thing." Had he just agreed to go to a painting class with Laura? He didn't even know she was remotely interested in art. In fact, now that he thought about it, he didn't know much about her at all.

"Okay. great thanks." But from the hesitant look in his eyes she doubted whether he'd come at all. She rose to her feet and walked towards where the painting lay. "So, can I see it?"

Will folded his arms over his chest. "I've never opened it."

Curiously she sat down next to him. "_Why?_ Don't you want to see what it is?"

"No, not really," he said impassively, as he run his fingers though his thick brown hair, closing his eyes just for a moment.

Seeing his reaction she wondered what on earth she was doing here in the first place. She rolled her eyes, irritably. "Look Will, you seem tired, so I'm just going to go."

"No, no, stay. Look it's fine I'll put on a movie or something. You're pick."

She liked him – a lot - but this couldn't go on. It was obvious that for some reason or another he didn't want to be with her. Standing up, she brushed her pants down and grabbed her purse. "Really Will, it's fine, I'm just going to go."

"Well should I call you?" he asked, looking up at her.

"_Should _you call me? I don't know Will, do you want to call me?" Her voice, low, cracking.

Now he'd done it, he thought. Now it was over. "Oh Christ Laura you know I didn't mean it like that."

She turned her back to him, holding back tears. "You know what Will, I think we should just call it quits for a bit."

He stood up and walked towards her. "I've just been distracted lately that's all."

"No Will. No." She walked towards the door and left.

Will sighed as he slumped down on his couch and reached for his glass. And as he took a long sip of the hard liquid he stared at the large rectangular frame resting against his antique bookshelf.

Why had Sweeney been so intent on giving it to him and why – _Why on earth would Alicia not want it?_


	10. Chapter 10: Alot like love

Chapter 10: Alot like love

* * *

The TV had lost satellite connection and its harsh neon lights flickered in the background as Alicia lay on her cream white couch staring up at the ceiling. Resting her hands on her stomach she tried to relax. It was unlike Will not to answer his phone. But, it was understandable given how tense things had been between them lately. She did not even know why she was calling him. Was it to ask about the _Holloway_ case? Or was it the _Hemingway_ case? Letting out a deep sigh, she rotated onto her side and tucked her knees up to her chest.

_She just missed him_.

Her mind had been racing all day. She could not stop thinking about Will and how they had ended things - for good this time. Before, she still felt hopeful that one day they still might have a future; a life together. But, now it was like – _like _someone had stolen that away from them.

The heart wrenching sensation of helpless engulfed her like a cold winters night and the emptiness that she felt in the pit of her stomach made her wrap her arms tightly around her waist. Closing her her eyelids shut, she remembered how her heart had stammered against her chest when he had let slip that he loved her. _Oh _how she had wanted to leave everything and just go to him; to run into his strong arms and kiss him passionately. She longed for his delicate touch and ached to feel his soft, supple lips on her own. It was then that she remembered something that happened not so long ago; it happened in the spring.

* * *

They were lying together on his burgundy couch after making love. Their bodies clad with sweat and perfumed with the sensual scent of sexual arousal. He lay on top of her, covering her body with his completely, softly kissing the hollow of her neck.

And as she ran her fingers through his brown dishevelled hair, Will slipped his hands beneath the small of her back and gently pulled her up towards him, so that he had a clear view of her chest. She let her elbows sink into the leather of the couch and jerked her head backwards allowing her tangled hair to drape over her shoulders. His smouldering eyes lingered over her porcelain skin before slowly tracing the tip of his tongue along her heaving chest and down to her belly button, eliciting a moan from her plump red lips.

Eagerly she reached down to him and drew him up to her, feverishly kissing him. When their lips parted, Will gazed into her dark brown eyes and brushed a strand of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "_My God."_ His voice was soft; _delicate_. "You are so, _so _beautiful Alicia."

Staring wide eyed into his deep brown eyes, he kissed her cheek then placed butterfly kisses along her neckline. Then he looked up at her and grinned. " I've got an idea."

She cocked her head to one side. "And what might that be?"

"You'll see," he said with a wink.

She bit down on her bottom lip, admiring his taunt body as he put on his navy blue boxer shorts and walked into the bedroom. Rising to her feet she tried to locate her shirt in between the scattered clothes on the floor. Tilting her head sideways she saw that it was underneath Will's grey trousers. But as she crouched down to pick it up she saw something familiar in the kitchen. Mischievously she eyed Will's Georgetown University T-shirt hanging over his kitchen bar stool.

Stepping into the sunlight filled kitchen, she felt the soft rays of the sun warm her skin. Smiling she picked up the T-shirt and placed it against her cheek, the smell of his musk scented cologne entered her nostrils and for just a moment she was back at Georgetown in Will's room. She pulled the over-sized top over her head and then opened the window, letting the summer's breeze kiss her porcelain skin.

Suddenly she felt Will wrap his hands around her waist, making her sway her hips from side to side. "You look so sexy." He kissed the nape of her neck. "You - in _that_ T-shirt really turns me on," he said as he slid his hand up her top.

Intertwining her fingers with his own she turned to face him. "Still?"

He arched his eyebrow. "Why do you think I kept it?"

Leaning into him she lustfully pressed her lips to his ear. "I love how you look at me. I love how you touch me. No one. No one has ever had the effect that you have over me. _No one_." Pausing, she saw how his eyelids were tightly shut and felt his hand grip at the side of her waist. Then ever so seductively she whispered, "_You satisfy me completely__." _She nibbled on his earlobe, making him moan out in pleasure. Suddenly they both let out a gasp as they heard the sound of something hitting the wooden floor beneath them.

It appeared that a blue marker had fallen out of Will's boxer shorts."Do you make a habit of keeping markers in your pocket Will?" she giggled, lightly rubbing his arm.

He picked up the marker and took her by the hand, leading her back to the living room. He then gestured to the couch. "Lay down," he said with a smug, boyish grin on his face.

Looking at him curiously she lied down on the couch, turning on her side to face him. Sitting down by her side he unscrewed the cap off the marker with his teeth and then flicked it onto the coffee table. He slowly pushed her top up revealing her sheer black lace thong and as he brushed his fingertips along her hip bone, she let out a deep sigh, skin quivering under his touch.

They both had such an overwhelming affect over each other; where temptation, lust and love intertwined with one another, clouding their minds.

Feeling the tip of the pen just below her stomach Alicia flinched slightly and poked her head up. The look of curiosity over her features changed into a soft smile as she saw what Will had written –

_**WILL 4 ALICIA**_

"Remember this?" he asked soft-heartedly.

She reached out and placed her hand on top of his own. "How could I ever forget? Our first night together. I didn't want to rub it off but..." She trailed off, averting her eyes away from his.

"I know. Peter."

Holding back tears, she pressed her lips together into a thin line. Will gave her hand a tight squeeze. "It's fine Alicia." His hand cupped her chin as his thumb wiped a tear that had fallen to her rosy cheek and kissed her.

That night when she got home she slipped into a hot bath. Pouring the lavender scented soap into the palm of her hand she washed her arms then her legs before reaching her stomach. She lay there, looking at the dark blue ink on her skin. Tonight she would not rub it off.

* * *

Alicia drew in a sharp breath as she opened her eyes and sat up on her couch. She had to see him. She did not care what she would say; she just knew that she needed to be with him. And before she could think twice about it, she put on her fleece cardigan, grabbed her car keys and tip toed to the front door, peering her head sideways to make sure Peter was asleep before heading out with a large grin on her face.


	11. Chapter 11: Drowning

Chapter 11: Drowning

_- Thank you for your recent reviews -_

* * *

Alicia stood outside Will's door, heart pounding against her chest, palms clammy with sweat. What was she _even_ doing there? He had made it clear that he wanted to move on; to forget everything they had once shared. But as much as she tried and as much as she wanted to,_ she could never forget_. Their time spent together would long live on inside her, up until that very moment where the clouds would close and the harsh light of the day would cease to exist. Her love for him was eternal; infinite.

She withdrew a sharp breath and knocked on the door. Her entire body tensed and her breathing became somewhat erratic as she heard faint foot steps approaching the other side of the door. All her instincts where telling her to quickly run back home where it was safe; where she could keep pretending that nothing had changed and go on living this lie. But her feet were heavy and try as she might she could not seem to turn around. Then with a click of the lock, Will opened the door.

"Alicia." He opened the door wide and stared into her fiery dark brown eyes.

Seeing him in his Georgetown University T-shirt made her purse her lips together. "Will. Hi. Can I come in?" He held the door open for her, gesturing for her to come in. He appeared tense, anxious even as he followed her into the living room without so much of a word before beginning to pour himself a glass of bourbon. Alicia watched from the centre of the room as he lifted the amber liquid to his lips and took one hard, long sip, his eyes squeezing shut for a second or two. Placing the crystal glass down, he rested his palms flat on the soft wood of the table. "What are you doing here?" he asked seriously but with a certain longing laced in his tone.

Nervously she wrapped one hand around her waist. "Will. I..." she hesitated before going on, "I missed you." Stretching his neck from side to side, she saw him grow tense, his grasp hardening on the table. "Will. Look at me. Please." He continued to stare at the mahogany table, the breathing in his chest rising and falling. Her fingers started to painfully dig into the side of her ribcage. "Will." Her voice now pleading with him.

"Does Peter know where you are tonight?" His voice hoarse.

She gulped. "No. Of course not."

He could feel her eyes boring into his back. She would always choose Peter over him and he would always be second best. He could no longer bear to see her with Peter; know that he had touched her, kissed her, _been with her_. He did not want to have to share her, but at the same time the pain of not having her was eating him up inside. Sighing, he began to pour himself another drink.

Then he felt Alicia tenderly wrap both her hands around his waist. And as she nuzzled her head into the hollow of his neck, he could feel the heat of her body and her soft skin against his own. "Will, don't you miss us?"

He shook his head and turned to face her. Her dark brown eyes looked at him wantingly; like she could no longer bear to be without him. He knew that look because he had seen it over and over again when he looked in the mirror, even when he wished he had not. "Alicia I'm sorry but I can't." Averting his eyes from her own, he walked over to the single seater couch and sat down, nursing his drink in his right hand.

Alicia's eyes widened, the sting of his words feeding the open wound in her chest. "I want to be with you." Her voice was low, almost a whisper even.

Looking at her, he took a sip of the bitter liquid and let it trickle and burn down his throat. "Me _and Peter_ you mean?"

She leaned up against the table, her hands curling around its thin edges. "I need time Will." She pressed her lips into a thin line. "You must understand that I can't just walk out and leave everything behind. Peter and the children were all I ever had; they were my life."

"Alicia you've had so much time," he said placing the glass on the coffee table before looking directly at her. "I won't be that type of man any more. I don't want to be on the side lines watching you on Peter's arm. _**You either want me or you don't."**_ His brown eyes pieced into her soul, rattling her senseless.

She could see how much he yearned for her; there was no hiding it. And she - _she burned for him_. Smiling ever so seductively, she walked over to him and nudged the inside of his leg with her knee, making his legs open wide for her. His smouldering eyes glistened in the faint light of the moon that pierced through the window. Hitching up her red A-line skirt she saw how his eyes now undressed her. Biting down on her bottom lip she snaked her hand around the nape of his neck and climbed onto his lap, straddling him. He felt desire cut into him and surge through his whole body. Instinctively he grabbed her by the waist, his fingers curling around the tight waist band of her skirt.

Provocatively she pressed her lips to his ears. "Of course I want you." And as she began to suck the hollow of his neck, her sweet scent entered his nostrils and made his mind race. She pulled his T-shirt off and flung it on the floor. Then ran her fingers down his chest, teasingly rocking back and forth on his lap. This dangerous, wild side to Alicia drove him crazy. He placed his hand on the small of her back and pulled her closer to him so that her belly rubbed against his arousal. "Tell me you want me as badly I want you," she hissed. Then he kissed her feverishly, dominating the kiss, making her moan out in absolute satisfaction. "Make love to me," she panted, reaching down for his buckle and kissing him. Abruptly he broke their kiss and covered his hands over hers. "Alicia. No." Ignoring him she continued to kiss his neck then his taunt stomach. He took her hands and held them against his bare chest, forcing her to stop. "This can't keep happening."

"Will...no...please." She gasped, gazing into his eyes.

He placed his hands around her small shoulders. "I want to be with you and _only you_."

Lines of hurt spread across her face as she recoiled away from him, pulling down her skirt. "This was a bad idea."

They felt the same pain. He had to end this. "What? You coming here tonight or _us_? That's what you wanted to say, wasn't it? Alicia. Tonight, last week - all of it - it was all a mistake."

Feeling his eyes burn into her, she turned her back to him, her breathing growing heavy. "Why would you ever _ever _say that Will? After everything that's happened between us." Her voice cracked with emotion as tears prickled behind her now onyx eyes. "I think it's best if I leave now." Her whole body shook as she grabbed her bag from the coffee table and walked towards the front door. Taking one last look at him, she said, "Goodbye Will."

"Goodbye Alicia." And as he heard the door close shut he looked out his window onto the waves crashing against the shore, he felt the onset of regret wash over him. He had wanted to make love to her so badly. He ached and yearned for her touch. But, when he thought about her with Peter, jealousy and contempt surged through him. She deserved so_ so much better. _And he wanted to be that person for her; if only she let him. Wearily he rubbed his eyes and forced himself out of the leather chair. But just as he was about to walk in the direction of his bedroom the large rectangular frame caught his eye – it stuck out in between his bookshelf like an eyesore. It was the gift- _the gift from Colin Sweeney_. He walked over to it and leaned it up against the TV cabinet. And in one swift motion he ripped the paper with one hand.

* * *

Alicia leaned against his door frame and slowly sunk down onto the hard wooden floor.

His words had left her wounded and empty. The pain ripped through her, flooding from her heart and surging though her veins. She felt sick; like she could not breathe. She wanted things to go back to the way it was before the scandal. But she could not. She could not forget what Peter had done to her and the children. And she could not go a day without thinking of Will. How he loved her unconditionally with no questions asked. There had been a time where she could still brush off her feelings for Will as a dalliance or something of a _sophomore crush _but these days there was nothing to be done.

She hid her anger and bitterness behind polite smiles and pleasantries. At the end of some days, when she could not handle it any more, she would lay coiled up in her cream white office couch and cry, her hand covering her mouth as her cries turned into muffled screams of agony. And everyday got harder, everyday more painful then the next. Standing up she staggered herself into the elevator and as the doors pulled shut she closed her eyes. She could see herself falling into the abyss. _No one - _no one there to catch her.

* * *

Will froze as he looked at the painting before him. It was a Japanese Anime painting of a woman. Her skin was porcelain white and her hair was as black as the night's sky.

She was drowning.

She was lying on the ocean floor with a large rock tied around her waist and neck, violently chocking her. Thick glistening onyx eyes were wide with horror and her mouth open, gagging for air in pure desperation.

No one could hear her screams through the defying silence of the water.

Tears welled up in Will's eyes as he wept for her.

* * *

A/N: The painting is from season 1, episode 13: "Bad".


	12. Chapter 12: Never let me go

Chapter 12: Never let me go

_ - Thank you for all the recent reviews -_

* * *

Alicia took a long deep breath, inflating her lungs. She turned and lay on top of the ocean's gentle waves, allowing the water to gently stir and ripple around her body. The sun beat down over her porcelain skin and made the ocean beam with an intoxicating deep blue as she peacefully floated on her back. Looking over her red polished toe nails she could see that she was at the beach; children were playing with colorful beach balls and building sand castles; people sun-baking and young couples hastily making out on the foreshore. Relaxing her head back once more, she realized that she had no idea how she had gotten there in the first place. But it didn't matter. She felt so tired – _so completely exhausted_. The weight on her shoulders was making her entire body feel numb with pain.

She had tried to keep her emotions for Will buried deep inside her but lately it was getting harder; it was starting to hurt. The sun pierced and stung her dark brown eyes, forcing them shut. The fond memories that she had shared with Will over the years ran through her mind like a film tape – the moment they first kissed at Georgetown and how he had led her to his room where they had made love. He was such a tender lover; so delicate and gentle with every touch, every caress. And she remembered how her heart had stammered loudly against her chest as he leaned in to kiss her during that first year at L&G and how she had moaned into his mouth _yearning for more of him_.

Every single day she struggled with the daemons that she could not face; could not confront. She wanted – _no _– she needed a way out, but didn't know what to do or how to do it. To know that Will thought that her feelings for Peter were stronger than those that she felt for him, made her shudder to her core. It felt like someone had just trampled all over her heart. He must know how much she cared for him, how much she respected and admired him and - _how much she loved him. _

Peter stirred awake at Alicia's low sighs and murmurs. The dim light of the moon shone through the gape of their navy blue curtains and into their large bedroom, allowing him to see the pain and hurt spread across her face. First he stroked her voluptuous dark brown hair then wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to soothe her.

Alicia flinched suddenly as she felt an arm fold around her waist. Opening her eyes wide, she was confronted with an unmasking horror.

Her eyes had remained squeezed shut. _"Honey. Alicia," _Peter whispered to her.

Long red arms that seemed to have pierced through the ocean's surface, wound and snaked around her waist. Squirming and kicking, she cried out with distress and a dire terror that flooded in her now almost onyx colored eyes.

"Alicia, sweetheart, _shh_... it's alright honey, it's just a nightmare- _all just a nightmare_," Peter said in a low, soft voice.

All at once everything turned pitch black and for a split second she stopped seeing.

Then her head was bobbing up and down on the water's surface as red fingers, skin which was thick and glistened in the sun's rays, pushed down, hard on her shoulders, as she fought to keep her head above water. Cup fulls of water filled her mouth as finger nails dug into her shoulders, echoing a muffled scream from the back of her throat. But after what seemed like hours of fighting, she became weak, her entire body growing limp under the forceful hands. Closing her eyes, she thought of Will and how she loved him with all her being. And how their lives could be if _– if only she could break her ties with Peter_. But there were so many complications; obstacles facing her left and right. But what if - _what if she could overcome them; what if there was more to her life, _she thought.

Then she was laying across the light yellow sand of the foreshore, her hair tangled and beautiful around her face. Will stood only metres away from her, his soft caring eyes gazing into her own as he extended his arm out to her signalling for her to come to him. She let out a gasp of joy and lovingly run to his side.

And as they touched she felt as if she was coming home – he felt so good – _he felt like paradise._

They kissed one another passionately and with an undying fever. Pausing, they stood, head to head, nose to nose, catching each other's breaths. "Never let me go. _Promise me that you'll never let me go_." Opening her eyes she saw that he had gone – vanished into thin air. Thinking that her eyes were playing tricks on her she grabbed at thin air – to reveal nothing _– only emptiness_. Her heart sunk and she knelt down on the sand, the wind now growing strong, cutting through her eyes. Burying her face in her hands she cried, then let out long hollow screams, _"Will, Will..."_

Peter froze, his grasp loosening around her waist, as his breathing grew heavy. Had she just said 'Will' he thought or had it all been part of his imagination?

_"WILL..."_ she cried out once more.

The name rang in his ears like the dreadful sound of someone scraping their long fingernails over a blackboard. Recoiling away from her he turned on his side and closed his eyes shut. He had had his doubts that she had been having an affair with Will Gardner but, _he did not know that it had progressed this far. _But these were only doubts he reassured himself. Yes he thought _only doubts. _But as the room fell silent once more and Alicia slept on he turned onto his back and opened his eyes. And promised himself that he would find out what was really going on between his wife and Will Gardner. _He had to._

* * *

Alicia leaned against the kitchen bench in the glaring morning light of the sun, sipping her coffee, her arm wrapping tightly around her waist. Her eyes wandered from the kitchen, along the hallway and to their cream white front door. _She wanted to run. Run far away from here. From this place._

Forcing her back into reality was the faint foot steps coming from the living room.

Peter walked towards her, kissing her on the cheek. "Good morning Alicia."

She smiled politely at him. "Peter. Good morning." She noticed that his voice was husky and he looked tired.

Opening the kitchen cupboard, he got out a mug that read, 'No 1 Dad'. "How did you sleep?"

Then her nightmare rushed back to her and she saw a vision of Will staring at her eyes – into the depths of her soul. Feeling slightly uneasy, Alicia placed her mug on the marble kitchen bench and glanced down at her watch. "I'm really late for work Peter so, I really must go."

"Of course darling. You go. I _get it_ – the life of a lawyer." He cocked his head, half-smiling. But just before she head out he walked towards her and placed his hands around her shoulders, forcing her to turn around and face him. "Just promise me you'll make it to the gala tonight. You know I need you there."

"Yes, _yes, _I'll be there, don't worry Peter."

"We're okay aren't we? We're doing better right?"

"Peter," she paused pressing her lips into a thin line, "I really do have to go now."

He shoved his hands in his trouser pockets. "Yes, I'm sorry." His tone was apologetic but laced with a hint of bitterness.

Alicia furrowed her brow. "Sorry for what?" _For cheating on me with hookers; for manipulating me so that you can climb up the polls; for making me feel trapped in my own house? _She thought as she looked into his hazel eyes. She could feel his eyes search her face for something –_but what was it? What more did he want from her now?_

"No, nothing. Forget it," he said flippantly.

And without so much as another word, Alicia reached for her coat and left. Peter eye's narrowed as he took out his phone from his pocket.

"Eli, get me your best PI."

"Right..._what for?_" Came Eli's voice on the other end. Peter could imagine his eye brow raising with curiously and suspicion.

"Not now." His tone low.

"Peter. You know I don't like working _blindfolded_."

Peter grew agitated. "Just get me someone will you?"

"Alright, alright," Eli responded reluctantly.

"And Eli. They must be completely _completely discreet. Got it?"_

"Of course Peter."


	13. Chapter 13: Saving You

Chapter 13: Saving You

_-Thank you for your recent reviews -_

* * *

Alicia looked at the image reflecting back at her in the antique framed hallway mirror. Leaning forward she applied her blood red lip stick onto her sensual bee-stung lips. The color matched her strapless evening gown perfectly; scarlet silk tugged in all the right places and slid down her figure beautifully. The incandescent white light from the wall lamp stung her eyes, making her vision grow blurry. And it was then that the remnants of last night's nightmare came flooding back to her. Closing her eyes tightly shut, she remembered peacefully floating on the surface of the ocean when from out of nowhere long winding red arms had grabbed around her waist, their grasp viscously tightening harder _and harder_, draining the life out of her.

Then as if a powerful force had reached inside her and pulled her forward, she latched onto the hall table. Peeling her eyelids open she tried as hard as possible to steady herself, her fingers curling around the soft mahogany wood. _Alicia, _she told herself, _control yourself; just breathe. Breathe. _She didn't want to go to the gala tonight, but she had promised Peter and he might sense that something was up if she backed out at the very last minute.

Sucking in one long, deep breath she opened her jewellery box to reveal her Tiffany's diamond choker necklace and matching earrings set. She put on the necklace, her fingers gliding over each perfect diamond pendant as she thought of Will. The set had been a present from Will when they had been together last year. Sliding the earrings into her ear lobes, she remembered the night he had given them to her. They had been out on his roof top terrace, candle light supper for two and he had told her that she had been his first love.

_His mouth opened around her own, sucking at her upper lip first then at her bottom lip. Eager for more of him, she thrust her tongue into his mouth and tasted him. He felt so good and she wished that this moment would last forever. Coming up for air she tore open his light blue shirt, buttons flying to the floor and dug her manicured fingernails into his back. Passionately his lips drew a burning line down the hollow of her neck making her moan out his name wildly, shamelessly so. "Will, oh God...Will." _

_And as she tilted her head back, he undid her loose bun, allowing her hair to cascade down the curve of her back. Then he ran his fingers through her hair. "I love your hair down," he whispered seductively to her. _

_That night they made love under a blanket of stars._

Grabbing her pearl white clutch from the kitchen bench, she looked into the hallway mirror once more and pulled out her bun, letting it fall loosely over her shoulders before walking out the front door.

* * *

She danced hand in hand with Peter on the dance floor of the luxury hotel at Chicago's annual gala. With every single turn she searched for _him_; her eyes darted around the large, dim lit room and through to the foyer where guests were continually arriving. After what seemed like hours she stopped looking. A great wave of sadness swept over her as she realised that he wasn't coming tonight. The now mournful ballad that the band played gave her an excuse to hide her face over Peter's shoulder, dancing on as if nothing was the matter; _as if nothing had ever changed. _The pain and hurt that she felt created a hollow emptiness inside her making her brown eyes glaze over as she held back tears.

It was then that she became aware of how much she wanted him; _how much her body and soul needed him. _And just as she was about to excuse her self -

_She saw him._

Her breath caught in her chest and her heart skipped a beat as she watched him. Will stood tall against a cream white podium in the marbled foyer, his face pale and hair rustled from the night's fierce wind. He had probably walked, as his apartment building was only a few blocks away. The dim light of the moon seeped through the hotel's immaculate glass framed doors, making his eyes appear a golden brown and his skin a porcelain white; _eternal_.

Then their eyes met; brown on brown. The angelic wings of butterflies flapped mercilessly around her stomach and her heart melted like butter in a sizzling hot pan. She felt as if she was in heaven – _in paradise. _

* * *

She looked so beautiful. He felt his heartstrings pull every which way as he noticed that she had chosen to wear the necklace and earring set that he had given her. Diamond chandelier earrings dangled from her ears, gently twirling as she took a turn around the room. The scarlet red was electrifying on her; _absolute perfection._

Looking back into her deep brown eyes, Will could see through her and she was _falling; falling to pieces._ He had never realised how deep her pain ran until that evening when he tore open the painting (a gift from Colin Sweeney). The portrait of the woman drowning in the middle of the ocean made him shudder to his very core.

How selfish he had been thinking that every time she had run away from him it was because she wanted Peter and not him. Now he realised that he could not have been further from the truth. She was trying to carry on with her life as if nothing had ever happened, but _it _had and try as she might she could not forget it; _things would never be the same again. _Underneath the polite smiles and pleasantries she was slowly drowning. And if she didn't put a stop to this, it would eat away at her until there was nothing left –_ nothing but emptiness._

A sharp pain pierced his chest and he felt his heart wrench with pain and agony for her.

The way her chest rose and sunk and the sad, longing look in her eyes made him want to run to her, place his hand in hers and lead her back to his apartment and into his bed where he would place his hands tenderly around her waist and softly whisper – _"everything will be alright. I love you. I won't let anything or anyone hurt you ever again." _

_If only she could take a chance- take a leap; a leap of faith._

_They would find their path in this world._

_If they were together, nothing could hurt them. _

_Being together was everything. _

* * *

The soft music chimed in Alicia's ears and her head spun as she stared into Will's eyes _and_ _through to the depths of his soul. _And like finding the missing piece of a puzzle she remembered how her nightmare had ended.

She had gone from being at peace with the world as Will took her in his arms to being completely miserable in a matter of seconds when he had vanished from sight. All alone on the foreshore she had knelt down, tears streaming from her eyes. She could still hear the overbearing howling of the wind as if it was watching from above; _crying for her loss._

The glaring light of the chandelier prickled at her eyes forcing her back into reality. Will entered the room and sat down at one of the large round tables. A blonde, pretty waitress came over to him and offered him a glass of champagne from her tray. He nodded, grinning at her as she handed him a glass. Then she whispered something into his ear which made him laugh. After a while another waitress approached the blonde.

Dancing a little closer, Alicia managed to overhear their conversation.

"Brittany, stop flirting with the guests." She nudged her playfully. "You know that's my job," she said giggling as she raised her eyebrow at Will.

"I think you girls should both get back to work before your boss over there gets even madder." Will said smiling as he pointed to a butch, red faced woman at the very back of the room. The girls giggled and the blonde winked at him before they both walked away.

_Will and the women, _Alicia thought. It really wasn't his fault. He was so handsome and charming that women practically flocked to his side.

Alicia watched him as he took a long sip of the light, bubbly liquid and then placed it back on the table. Then he rotated his chair, purposefully turning to meet her gaze. The playfulness that she had just seen had now disappeared and he looked at her longingly, _tenderly so. _He was trying to mouth something to her. Realising that she could not understand him he paused, smiling softly to her, his hand on his breast pocket. Then he tried again, slowly this time -

"_I-I n-n-need y-you."_

And by the widening of her eyes he knew she had got it.

A faint gasp escaped from her lips as she heard her heart beat loudly inside her chest.

"Everything alright?" Peter asked, his hand slipping to the small of her back.

"Hmm...?" She replied still looking over Peter's shoulder at Will.

His mouth curled into a half smile. "You just gasped _darling_."

_Had he heard that? _She gulped. "Just something in my throat."

_"Oh yes?"_

"I think I might be coming down with the flu," she lied.

"Should we go home and I can make it _all better for you_?" The words rolled off his tongue.

From the foyer she saw as Diane entered the ballroom wearing a royal blue evening gown. Charm and poise exuded from her as she walked across the floor to greet Will. After exchanging the usual pleasantries Diane sat down next him. He looked sad as he averted his eyes away from Diane and looked down at the floor. Diane then looked at Alicia then back at Will. They were talking but she couldn't make out what they were saying. Then Diane placed her hand over the top of his in comforting gesture.

"Alicia..._what do you think?_" Peter asked, arching his eyebrow.

"Mmm...no, It's ok. I'm fine," she replied still in a daze, too caught up in emotion to absorb the full context of his meaning.

She wanted to go to him, to be with him. She could be herself around him; she was happy with him. Looking into his beautiful soft eyes, she realised that he was the only person that could help her; _the only person that could save her; save her from drowning in a world so dark that she could at any one second fall into its cold and bleak abyss. _She had to trust him. She had to take a leap of faith. _She just had to_, she thought.

In her complete daze she hadn't noticed that Peter had his lips pressed to her ear. Feeling uncomfortable she jerked her head away from his. She could not stand to be near him for another second longer; it felt like a betrayal to Will and most of all like she was betraying herself. She could no longer keep up this façade She hated what he had done, how he had ruined their life together; a life that she had worked so hard to build.

But her action's didn't dissuade him and she felt his breath on the hollow of her neck.

"_Sweetheart." _His voice hoarse and tone seductive. "You look so _so sexy tonight,"_ he said, pressing his body into hers.

"Peter..." she said, moving back slightly forcing some distance in between them.

But he was _lost in her_. She smelt of soft spice and balmy, almost erotic musk; she was intoxicating. "All I want to do is rip that dress right off you right here, right now."

Alicia stopped breathing for a few seconds, her entire body stiffening. _How dare he. After everything; after everything he had put her through, he still had the gall to talk to her like that. In the end she was just another one of his lackeys. She had had enough. _Placing her hand on his chest she pushed him away from her, watching as he furrowed his brow in bewilderment. Taking a step backwards her dark brown eyes bore into his, causing him to panic.

He cocked his head to the side. "Alicia. Not here. _Please._" He was not one to beg but, he was so close to becoming Governor and he could not lose any more votes than he already had.

Before she knew what she was doing she raised her hand up at him and slapped him hard across the face. The sound of skin on skin echoed and rang in her ears forcing her back into reality. Placing his hand on his cheek he looked back at her in a state of shock and almost horror. Her face was blank; motionless and her breathing calm as she stood in the centre of the room. But inside the rage surged uncontrollably through her veins and she felt like she was about to burst.

The entire room had now stopped dancing and looked at them – eyes wide open and hands covering mouths in total awe of what had just happened. Seeing this, Peter took Alicia by the arm and led her out of the room and into the foyer. Over his shoulder he raised his hand signalling Eli to move the guests into the other room. Eli nodded back and told everyone that they had a special performance for them in the other room so if they could all make their way down the hall. Some followed but others seemed to have had enough entertainment for the night and left.

Furiously Alicia shrugged Peter off her, "_Let go of me Peter_." But his fingers would not loosen their hold on her.

_And once more she was in the depths of the dark blue ocean, thick salty water filled her mouth and gurgled down her throat, choking her._

Then she saw Will striding across the foyer and towards them. "Don't you ever _ever _do anything like that again! _DO YOU HEAR ME?_" Will shouted.

"_Do what?"_ he spat back. Peter uncomfortably looked from Alicia to Will. _"I'm not doing this here."_ His tone was serious, almost threatening.

"I don't think you're listening to me man!" Will pressed.

Peter pressed his lips into a thin line. "Okay, ok, why don't we take this into the conference room." It wasn't a question.

Alicia pointed her index finger up at him. "No Peter. Don't you want the people who are voting for you to know the _real _you?"

"Alicia. _Please." _He pleaded for the second time that night.

"Fine," she quipped.

Agitated, Will rolled his eyes as he followed Alicia and Peter into the conference room.

* * *

Closing the tall wooden door frame behind him Peter said, "As you can see Alicia is not herself tonight and I am only doing us all a favour before she embarrasses herself even more."

Just before Will was about to reply Alicia intervened. "_WHAT?"_ Alicia asked furiously. She got closer to him, until they were face to face. "You're the embarrassment Peter! Every day people stare at me, wondering how I'm still with you; how I can still share your bed or even look at you!" Will stepped to her side, trying to offer her some support, but it only fuelled the argument.

"And you – you don't share any of that blame?" Peter raised his eye brow. "You've been _fantasying_ about Will for years."

She looked him dead straight in the eye. "You're so out of line Peter."

"Alicia, it's ok_. I know_," his voice was now calm but laced with cynicism. He walked around the anchorage boardroom table, his hands skimming its hard corners.

Casually Alicia slid out one of the green leather office chairs and sat down, her hands clasped together on the table. "What are you talking about Peter?"

"I know about the _presidential_ suite." He scoffed.

For a moment Alicia and Will's eyes locked and they both froze. She could feel the tension in the room rising as she saw Will's hands form into tight fists. Furiously Will walked to the front of the room where Peter stood. "You _really _don't know what you've done, do you? Or do you just not give a damn? _You make me sick_," he spat.

But just as Will was about to walk away Peter hissed, _"My God you paid for her – you know, at the suite?" _His eyes grew large, the venom of his words swirling at the tip of his tongue.

Alarm bells went off inside Alicia's head and her entire body stiffened. Nervously she bit down on her lower lip, hard enough to draw blood. Will was facing away from him, his eyes burning into the hard wooden floor, his upper lip curling in contempt as he digested what he had just heard. Then he turned back around and punched Peter in the face, catching him completely off guard and sending him flying flat on his face. Alicia's eyes widened in alarm as she jumped out of her chair and automatically went to Peter's side, crouching down next to him. A small gash had formed at the corner of Peter's mouth where Will had punched him. But, as she was about to touch his face, to see if he was alright he flinched, eyeing her coldly.

Will loosened his tie around his collar and bent down placing his hands over his knees trying to steady his nerves. "That's enough Peter – _that's enough," _he said, his breathing heavy.

Peter looked up at him holding his hands up in the air in defeat. "Ok Will. _You win," _he smirked as he wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth.

Tears prickled behind her eyes as she slowly stood up. _"Oh my God!_ This isn't a competition! And I am certainly not a consolation prize." She desperately needed to get out of there. And as she felt the tears roll down her face, she ran out of the room and into the street. The night's events raced over and over in her head as she continued to run. Finally her legs gave out as the pain in her chest grew to an over bearing height and she collapsed onto the cold, damp pavement.

* * *

As she cradled her face in the burning palms of her hand she felt a shooting pain surge through her now throbbing leg. She wanted to get up but couldn't; she didn't have the energy, so she just closed her eyes. Before doing so she realised where she was – she had ran to the steps of Will's apartment without even realizing it.

"Alicia," came a whisper. Looking up she saw that it was _Will_. Sitting down beside her, he wrapped his strong arms around her embracing her tightly. She cried uncontrollably in his arms. Tears burning her cheeks. Over his shoulder she suddenly saw soft flashing lights in the distance, but ignored them on account of her spinning head and blurry eyes.

She wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand and looked at him. "Thank you." She placed her hand on top of his own. "Sorry about running away back there."

He shrugged, smiling sweetly at her. "Don't worry about it. I understand."

She intertwined her finger with his. "I shouldn't have left you there like there. _I shouldn't have. You deserve so much more," _she said, shaking her head as if in disbelief over her earlier actions.

He squeezed her hand. "_It's fine. We're together now and that's all that matters." _They stayed there for a moment or two sitting on the steps, gazing into one another's eyes. Then he took off his black suit jacket and draped it over her shoulders, bent down and lifted her up into his arms, an arm under her legs and another cradled around her shoulders.

She smiled tenderly at him "Will, thank you."

"For what?" His voice was low, almost a whisper.

She caressed his cheek, looking into his soft, caring eyes. "Thank you...for..._for everything," _she said her voice cracking with emotion. Then he kissed her tenderly; sliding his lips gently over her own, making her moan with pleasure.

"I _need_ you," she sighed longingly.

And as he carried her into his building, she felt so warm, so comfortable – _like she was coming home. _

* * *

_"A picture is worth a thousand words"_ - Those words had never rung truer than at that very moment, thought the man in the black cape behind the large camera lens.


	14. Chapter 14: Body and Soul

**Chapter 14: Body and Soul**

_-Thank you for your lovely reviews -_

* * *

They held each other's gaze as he laid her gently down on his bed. Leaning down, he brushed a loose strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear before softly kissing her blushing cheek. She looked beautiful -_ like a dream_. Her blood red dress flowed all the way down to her ankles, accentuating her figure perfectly; its color electric against her porcelain white skin. Her diamond choker grabbed at her long neck and made her sparkle in the dim light of the moon that seeped through the blinds. He sat on the bed and gently took her hand in his, smiling softly at her as he felt her squeeze his hand.

The way he looked at her made her heart sink; he allowed her to feel so special, so adored and loved. With her hand never leaving his, she got up and joined him on the edge of the bed; nervous grins, smoldering eyes and fingers intertwined. They were like a couple of teenagers who were about to make-out for the first time.

Will got up and switched on the bedside lamp. He stood awkwardly, shifting his weight from side to side before putting his hands in his trouser pockets. "Do you want to go into the lounge for a drink?" A boyish grin spread across his face. "And maybe some...music?"

"_Music?_" she tilted her head.

"At college I umm...took ballroom dancing classes."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Ha, I would have never guessed - Will, Wow!" She clasped her hands together. "How come I never knew about this?" She grinned cheekily. "We did, if you _recall_ attend college together."

He tried to reciprocate her amusement, but his mind was elsewhere and he began to feel nervous. "I started taking the classes for the...Law ball actually."

She made bedroom eyes and pouted her bee-stung lips, playfully flirting with him. "_Oh yes_," she said as she batted her eye lashes. "Were you trying to impress some girl? I wouldn't think you needed to go to so much trouble. Girls would _literally_ line up for you - _they still do._" The words rolled off her tongue. She remembered how the girls would do _almost __everything _they could to get his attention. They all wanted him to ask them to the ball.

He stood closer to her now and began to stroke her dark brown hair, seeing her jump just slightly at his action. "Actually there was a girl," he mused looking down at her. Her eyes were closed and her palms were digging into her lap.

She was in a daze. His fingers threaded her hair and trailed down her neck making her relax her shoulders and arch her back just slightly. "_Hmm..._well, who was it then?"

Suddenly he stopped and went to stand by his closet. Facing her he saw her open her eyes, confused; search his eyes for answers. The smile on his face turned into a frown and as she looked into his now sad eyes she realized what he was trying to tell her. All at once she felt her chest tingle with a mixture of regret, guilt and love for the man standing opposite her.

"They girl was... _you.__" _He looked away from her and towards the geometric painting he had hanging opposite the bed. His vision grew blurry as his mind flashed back to that summer before the Law ball. "I was going to ask you but, you...you were already going with -" He couldn't say it.

"-Peter," she said, ending the sentence for him.

He cleared his throat. "Yes." It had happened so long ago, but it still hurt.

He looked back over to her. Were his eyes wet? She couldn't tell. She now felt sick over her actions that summer. Nervously she placed her hands on her lap. "I'm _so_ sorry. You must have known how much I wanted to go with you but -"

He put his hands out in protest. "Alicia. It's fine. We had bad timing. _We always do. _Sometimes it almost feels like we're _cursed _or something." He looked down once more, holding back tears.

It wasn't often that she saw this side to him. She didn't know that _this_ - their _bad timing_ as he liked to put it, was leaving him _empty_; she saw it in the dark storm that now flooded his dark eyes and in the melancholic way he uttered those words - "_we always do", "cursed"._

_She never wanted this to happen._

_But she was tempted._

_And with that came great risks._

_But he was so handsome, so wonderful._

**_And she had wanted him for as long as she could remember._**

* * *

Trying to change the mood she smiled and said, "Well why don't we go and have that dance now?"

"Yes. We should," he replied. His eyes lingering over her.

But just as she was about to get up she felt a pain running up her leg. "Ouch," she yelped, placing both hands on her knee before quickly sitting back down again.

Will quickly rushed to her side, kneeling before her. "Alicia. What's wrong? Is it your leg?" He asked looking back up at her, his hand delicately stroking the side of her thigh, comforting her.

"It's my knee. I fell on the pavement, just outside your building," she explained, as she felt the pain slowly start to fade away as quickly as it had come.

Then he started to slowly push the hem of her dress up her legs. "Let me have a look."

She felt the muscles in her calves tense at the sudden onset of his touch on her legs and gulped. "Will, you don't need to trouble yourself." She was unsure of herself and of this situation which they both knew would lead to the inevitable. She had told herself that she would only stay a while at his apartment, maybe have a drink or two, just so that she could regain her composure again. But who was she fooling? _She was infatuated with the man. _Plus, there was no way she could confront Peter, or even be in the same room with him tonight. She had thought about staying with Owen but... _she so liked it here._

He knitted his brow. "It's no trouble," he said now examining her knee. It was badly bruised, purplish in color and it was slightly grazed. But, no cuts and she wasn't bleeding. "Stay here," he said sweetly. "I'm just going to go and get the first aid kit from the bathroom."

She shook her head. "No. Will, _really_," she put out her hands, gesturing for him not to worry about it. "- it's no big deal; just a little bruise. _It's nothing_."

"Alicia, I'm just going to put some ointment and a band aid on it," he said with a quick smile. "I'll be back in two shakes."

He came back with a small white first aid kit. Placing it on the bedside table, he took out the antiseptic liquid and a blue cloth. "Maybe it would be best if you laid down?"

"Sure thing, Your the _Dr," _she said, giggling.

He twisted his mouth into a smile. "You're so great - I love -" He stopped himself before going on. They both glanced at each other; brown on brown. _This wasn't the time for that_ _conversation _he thought, she had been through enough tonight. He was just happy that she was here with him and that they could be alone together.

Finally Will broke the silence. "I love..._your laugh,_" he said pressing his lips into a fine line.

She nodded nervously back, her eyes darting to the floor before lying down on the bed. "Is this alright?" she asked casually, trying to divert the conversation and avoid any awkwardness.

"Yes, yes, fine," he said with a half smile as he sat on the side of the bed beside her and started to put some of the liquid onto the the cloth. "Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit," he said, gently dabbing her knee.

He wanted to heal her, take away all her worries and pain. He wanted to fix her. He wanted to be there for her always.

"Will, you're so lovely. I really don't deserve your kindness," she spoke genuinely as she watched him care for her.

"Thank you again for coming to my rescue tonight. You're my _James Bond_," she said with a half-smile.

He stopped what he was doing and cocked his head at her. "And how are _you_ doing?"

She squinted her eyes, as if to ask what he meant exactly.

He didn't want to seem like he was prying but they had _whatever it was they had (he had an undying love for her) _and he wanted to try and help her; _how he wished she would let her in._

He took out a tube of ointment from the kit and squeezed a small amount into the palm of his hand. "You - you and Peter -" He started to delicately massage the cream into the bruised skin, whilst trying to find the right words. He looked up at her. "It must be..._hard for you?"_

"Peter and I - well, marriage...is hard, you know?" She said, not wanting to say too much. _Hard _didn't even come close to describing how she felt, she thought. She wanted to tell him everything - to confide in him, but somehow couldn't find it in herself to do so.

"Does it still _hurt?_"

All of a sudden she seemed to freeze as she sat there looking back at him, the palms of her hands becoming clammy. His eyes searched hers. For a moment she wasn't quiet sure if he meant her knee or if he was talking about the years of pain that she had endured - and continued to do so. The pain that lurked in the shadows during the day and that haunted and tormented her at night.

_Did he know?_

Of course it was blatantly obvious to everyone who watched the evening news that a wife whose husband cheats on her with 18 hookers would normally be sad and upset. But that was only the half of it. Peter had betrayed her in one of the worst possible ways. He had shattered everything that they had ever shared and with that, all her hopes and dreams had been thrown out the window. _It was all she had ever had_. And he had taken it away from her. She had tried to bury, to forget even, what Peter had done to her but every day that past, especially tonight at the ball it had become clear that she couldn't keep up this facade for much longer - _the signs of cracking were starting to show_.

The events of the night ran through her mind. How she had slapped Peter in front of all those people. It wasn't like her to do something like. But, then again _maybe it was. _She had spent so much time being the State Attorney's wife;_ the perfect wife -_ that she didn't even know who she really was anymore.

Will tore open a large band aid and put it on her knee and gently pulled down her dress. He came to sit by her side. Slowly her reached over to her and placed his forefinger to her chin and looked into her eyes. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. She liked it when he kissed her forehead the way he did. And she liked how he made her feel.

Suddenly the phone in the kitchen started to ring. "I think it's my sister calling. She needs some legal advice. I'll just be a minute, ok?" he said, walking out of the room to answer the phone.

She nodded sitting up on the bed. Her life had turned into a vicious cycle; the nightmares in the middle of the night, the tears of pain, screams of agony and all the lies (the phony smiles and fake pleasantries during the day). Then to repeat it all again - _over and over. _The entire facade to continue with a marriage that had died along time ago now, was eating her up inside - _draining her of her very last breath._

* * *

Will hung up the phone. "Alicia, are you hungry? Do you want me to get you something to eat?" He asked from the kitchen but, when she didn't reply, he went to see if she was alright.

Upon entering the bedroom he found her crying on the bed; long, wet, salty tears rolling down her cheeks. Her hands cradling her face. His chest tightened. "Alicia, _Alicia!_ What's the matter?" He climbed up onto the bed and placed his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them in an attempt to calm her down.

All of a sudden she felt as if she couldn't breath. "Will..." she said, her voice shaky, as she motioned to her diamond choker. As fast as he could, Will, his eyes wide with alarm, pulled up her hair and took off the necklace, allowing her to let out a sigh of release. Her breathing heavy.

Lovingly he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, pulling her close to him."There, there. Don't cry. I'm here. _I will always be."_

He held her in his arms for what seemed to be hours. Then he let go of her only to cup her face in his hands. And as if he could read her mind he said, "You're so special. I don't think you realize how brave you are Alicia. But sometimes, _sometimes _we just need to let go of the past." He reached out and took out some tissues from his night stand and wiped her eyes. Her breathing was now normal and she looked a lot calmer.

He understood her so well. No one_, No one had ever understood like this before._"Thank you. I-i'm s-s-orry," she paused in an attempt to regain her composure, "I-I don't know what came over me...I must be coming down with a migraine or something."

He took her hand in his again. "Alicia, you don't need to make up excuses for me. Where alone together. It's fine."

She darted her eyes away from his, focusing on how his hand held her own - _a perfect fit. _"Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you."

"How's your knee?"

"Can't even feel it."

He smiled softly and hugged her once more.

_She was his fantasy._

_She was his day and his night._

_She was what he imagined haven would feel like._

* * *

He gently kissed her on the cheek - once, twice and then softly on the lips. Alicia grabbed at his collar, pulling him closer and deepened the kiss. Then she reached out and slowly loosened his navy blue tie. She bit down on her bottom lip. "Lay with me."

Upon hearing this Will closed his eyes and pursed his lips together as if he was preying to the heavens above that this was real; that it wasn't all a dream. Opening his eyes he took in a deep breath and placed his hand over Alicia's. "_Alicia. _Are you sure you want to - "

"Will. Please. Be with me." Her voice was low, almost a whisper.

And without another word he climbed up onto the bed and laid on his side looking at her. Both of them said nothing. She had her hands clasped on her chest and was looking motionlessly up at the ceiling, as if she had just regretted what she had just said. He turned on his side and gently caressed her arm, making her eye lids flutter with pleasure from his touch. "Alicia, look at me," he said softly. Slowly she intertwined her fingers with his and turned to face him.

And with that she knew that tonight she would let herself be free. Tonight she would have her way._  
_

Will stared longingly into her now glistening onyx eyes; the doors to her soul which now lay bare to him. He saw the fire burning in them; the lust, hurt and years of regret flooding them. Her plump red lips were slightly parted and he could feel her warm breath on the side of his cheek. Her chest started to rise and fall with a dire anticipation as she felt herself _come alive for him. _Vicious butterflies fluttered in her belly and rose to her chest making her melt as she lay there staring into his beautiful honey-brown eyes. He snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her into his body and kissed her hard on her _already open mouth_.

Every time they kissed it felt as if it was the first time but also like it might be the last.

Alicia deepened the kiss, thrusting her tongue into his mouth, tasting and savoring the sweetness of soda mixed with cognac on the tip of his tongue.

He felt _so good._

_She never wanted this moment to end._

Wanting more of him she sat up, hitched up her dress and straddled him. His eyes widened in approval as he moved his hands up and down her soft thighs, letting them rest on her calves. Seductively she tilted her head to one side and looked at him with those beautiful bedroom eyes. Her eyes never left his as she slowly undid the buttons on his crisp white shirt. She felt his taunt abs under her hands as she lowered herself and kissed him. His hands trailed up to her waist and up her spine. Then in one perfect, fluid motion he unzipped her, releasing her from the tight fabric.

She placed her soft lips to her ear and whispered, "I've been wanting you to do that since I saw you enter the hotel tonight."

She knew she could never say something like that to Peter but with Will - _well with Will - she could say or do just about anything. She could be everything._ And as she climbed off the bed and wriggled out of her dress she saw that he knew the effect he had on her as he lay there smirking at her. She wore a red laced bra and matching thong. _Stunning._ Never taking his eyes of hers, he shrugged of his shirt and took of his grey trousers, tossing them to the floor.

Climbing back onto the bed she bit down hard on her lower lip and placed her hand on the back of his neck. "C_ome here," _she whispered throatily as she pulled him closer to her so that they were both in an upright position. His head banged against the wood of the bed frame whilst her fingernails dug into his shoulder as she steadied herself, her legs still straddling him. She nibbled on his ear lobe.

* * *

He pulled her hair up and kissed the spot just above her hairline. He knew it drove her wild. "Mmmm..."

"You like that?" He smirked, a boyish smile spreading across his face.

"You're a big tease," she said in between sighs. _God, he knew exactly which buttons to push._

"I'm a big tease?" he quizzed as he passionately grabbed her by the hips and pressed her hard against his lower abdomen.

"Aaahh..." she gasped in pure pleasure.

"Do you remember when you dressed up for me that morning in my office bathroom then wouldn't let me _have you_ until late that night?"

She laughed out loud remembering that time. He had a fantasy about American Revolution and well, she _played along. _That memory had always driven her crazy.

He hoisted her up quickly from his lap and spanked her on the bottom. "Ouch!" she squealed, giggling.

"That's for you being naughty," he said playfully.

And they both laughed together - until their sighs and moans of pleasure began to drown out the laughter and fill the room.

She held him now- _tightly. _He could feel the warm heat of her body pass into his own as they held one another. The smell of her perfume (vanilla spice and rose petals) entered his nostrils and made him see stars. She ran her hands through his hair before planting her tender lips on the hollow of his neck where she sucked the skin there, making him groan out in sheer pleasure. Wanting, _craving _more of her, Will ran his forefinger over her jawline and then pressed an open mouth kiss there. Alicia brought his mouth to meet her own and kissed him fiercely as she begun to rock her hips back and forth against his arousal. _Her name was on his lips and he needed her with every core of his being. _He drew a burning line of kisses along her collar bone and with the tip of his tongue licked, then sucked the top of her firm breasts, making Alicia tilt her head backwards and moan out his name.

_"Wi-l-l, Oohhh G-god..."_

* * *

She let herself fall back onto his soft cream white sheets. "Switch off the light."

He obliged, turning out the light. The light of the full moon cast a shadow over her perfect body as he sat there momentarily taking in her beauty. "Alicia. You are so _so beautiful." _He pressed his lips together and pensively put his hand to his forehead. He was shaking._ "Alicia I need to tell you something."_ He saw her turn to her side and look at him in hesitation._"What I meant to say earlier...Alicia I -"_

Alicia knelt on the bed and gently placed her hand over his mouth. She looked into his soft, caring eyes. "Ssshh...not tonight. Not tonight." His eyes were now sad. _"I know,"_ she whispered her voice cracking with emotion. And she saw he understood - _would always understand her._

With their faces only inches apart she replaced her hand with her mouth, pressing hard into him. He deepened the kiss as she grabbed onto his strong arms and pulled him down onto the soft mattress with her. Laying on top of her, his thumb skirted up the side of her body and over the thin net which barely covered her nipples. He watched her lick her lips and felt her muscles tense under him - he loved seeing her like this. And he took satisfaction in the fact that he got to see her this way - _she was a thing of beauty._

Alicia felt like she was a teenager in a roller coaster; her mind began to race, her head spinning in circles as she become lost - _lost in him and in this world_. Cupping his face in her hands she kissed him, stroking and massaging his tongue, sighing wildly into his mouth.

_She needed him like she needed oxygen to breath._

Slowly he worked his way down her body, until his mouth found a home on her inner thigh where he placed baby kisses on her soft, tender skin.

Alicia drew in a sharp breath, her eyes wide like cherry pies.

She spread her legs out wide for him. _"I need you," _she panted.

And as his hand moved further and further up her thigh and to her centre she forgot everything and somehow felt at peace.

That night she gave in to temptation and** _let him have her - body and soul._**

* * *

_- Hope you enjoyed the chapter -_


	15. Chapter 15: All I Ever Wanted

Chapter 15: All I Ever Wanted

-_Thank you again for your sweet comments -_

* * *

Alicia's eyes rolled to the back of her head and a soft sigh of satisfaction escaped her red lips as she felt Will draw a burning line of kisses down her neck. Rolling onto her side she looked into his soft, radiant brown eyes. The small gaping hole in between the blue bedroom curtains allowed the sunlight to seep through and reflect the light from his eyes. His eyes were wide, passionate; all-encompassing. She knelt on the bed and stroked his cheek, feeling the heat pass into her hand and through her entire being. Will placed his hands on her hips, ushering her closer to him. She obliged by straddling him. Skimming her hands up and down his taunt torso, she eyed him seductively before kissing his jaw line and sucking at the hollow of his neck, making him draw in a sharp breath.

She stopped, tilting her head. "You like that?" She teased.

"You're intoxicating." His voice wanting.

She continued to lick and suck at the skin there.

He had a spectacular view of her cleavage. She had on a black laced push up bra with a small love heart pendent in the middle, which danced on his chest as she began to wiggle herself back and forth against his hips. Every time he was with her his body felt _electric. _She could do things to him that no other woman had ever been able to do - _had ever even come close to doing. _

What he felt no words could describe.

"You're so beautiful," he said huskily as he felt her nibble at his ear lobe.

She took his mouth in hers, kissing him fiercely. "And you're _so sexy_."

Smirking she stroked the light hair on his chest. "I used to fantasize about you back at college."

"As did I," he replied truthfully.

"How come we never got around to doing anything about it?" she asked playfully.

He shrugged. "_Life_ – life got in the way I guess."

She kissed him again, thrusting her eager tongue into his welcoming mouth. His hands trailed up her spine and ran into her wavy brown hair. They paused, coming up for air. Their foreheads touching, their breathing jagged.

Will cupped Alicia's face. _"You mean so much to me." _He stroked her cheek. "Do you know that?"

She felt her body stiffen. Her breathing got heavier and forced, making her ears ring. She knew where this was leading and she felt she wasn't ready for it; _didn't know if she'd ever be ready for it. _Her life was such a mess. She would only end up hurting him. She was bad for him and she knew it, but somehow she could not (try as she might) stay away from him -_or stop her hands from drawing a smooth line over his jaw line or her mouth from kissing his lips._

She bit down nervously on her bottom lip. "I do."

"Open your eyes Alicia."

But she only squeezed them tighter.

"You know that this – _this _is much more then fantasies and stolen kisses in the office." Softly, he kissed her cheek. "_What we have...it's precious – you're so special to me."_

He brushed a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Alicia _please, please open your eyes_."

"I can't. I just can't," she said shaking her head. "I can't do this right now." Frantically, she climbed off him.

"What? Wait." He reached out and took hold of her hand. His face filled with bewilderment.

Letting his hands cover hers, she paused momentarily and looked into his eyes. They had a sadness about them. _A sadness that lived and breathed inside of you to point of destruction_. She recognized the familiar look because she had seen that haunting look in the mirror many times reflected from her own dark brown eyes. _T__he pain was unbearable. _

Alicia looked away. "I'm so _so sorry Will," _she said, holding back tears.

Frustrated and upset, he furrowed his brow. "Why, _why_ must you always do this?"

She sucked in a breath and let go of his hand. "We should stop this...once and for all." The words seemed to struck at her like a fatal wound to the chest. _How could her own words pain her so?_

Their eyes locked once more; brown on brown. The sadness still resonating within his eyes. She could see he was hurting and wanted to fix it, but she didn't know how. She felt so weak, so vulnerable. Peter, she thought – she had given everything to that man and he had sucked the life out of her. So much so that now she had nothing left.

Breaking eye contact Will got up and walked towards the bathroom. "I'm going to have a shower. And when I come back, I would like it if you..." he paused, looking down at the floor before continuing, "I'd prefer it if you weren't here Alicia."

Was that doubt she heard in his voice or was it anxiety? The nerves one gets when something dear to them is finally coming to a close. She wasn't sure. If only he were to look at her. Seconds seemed to turn into minutes as they both stood there. But, he never looked at her. She felt herself shaking, and her heart painfully stammering against her chest. He walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

Tears rolled down her crimson-appled cheeks as she walked over to his wardrobe. _Dammit, _she thought. Had she really meant what she had said? How could something that felt so right, so _good _come to an end? _Was this to be the end?_

She fished out a pair of jeans and jumper that she had left there the other night when Peter had _conveniently _gone to a last minute conference in Washington. Peter had told her that he could get someone else to go in his place if she didn't want him to go. But she insisted; telling him that he should be focusing on his career at the moment. She consoled herself that it had been the right thing for him and that's why she wanted him to go. But when he kissed her on the cheek and left she knew that she had insisted for a completely different reason.

She remembered feeling so exciting about seeing Will. It hadn't been like the previous times where she would have to make up an excuse to see him; usually concerning work. No, this time she had rung him to let him know and they had planned that she would meet him at 9pm at his apartment. Peter would leave at 7pm and this would give her just enough time to tidy herself up a bit before driving out to meet him. She recalled choosing the perfect shade of rouge lipstick and as she sensually smeared it on her bee-stung lips she thought of how his eyes would linger over her. She had felt so giddy and alive. It had been a week since they'd last been together and she missed him desperately. That same night, when she got up to his apartment they were so eager for one another that they had made love on his kitchen floor. And it had been the first time that she hadn't regret it.

Thinking about that now, she felt a feverish flush spread across her face. She put on her jeans and as she was about to pull on her baby pink jumper she felt two toned arms snake around her waist. "I'm sorry," Will whispered softly into her ear. His face just inches away from hers; his body pressed into her back. His musky cologne entered her nostrils and her mind seemed to go into overdrive.

_"Mmm..."_ she sighed, feeling him place butterfly kisses along the nape of her neck. She turned to face him and before she could open her eyes he had her pined up against the door, his mouth completely covering her own. He hoisted her up against the cold hard wood of the wardrobe, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist. "Yes, _Oh God_," she moaned into him as he pressed his body into hers. She placed kisses on the side of his neck and ran her fingers through his brown disheveled hair.

_"You are all I've ever wanted,_**_" _**she whispered.

And all her inhibitions left her as she let him devour her lips.


	16. Chapter 16 (Part 1)

**Chapter 16 (Part I): The Story that the Photographs Told**

_-Once more thank you for your lovely reviews -_

* * *

**_"Life imitates art far more than art imitates life" - Oscar Wilde_**

Peter downed the last of the contents of his whisky neat. The vintage plastic wall clock showed that it was precisely 12.05 in the afternoon.

Eli Gold briskly entered his office with a thick yellow envelope in his hand. "This is for you," he quipped.

"Is this from _the_ –"His eyes shifted from the envelope to the open doorway behind Eli. "Eli," he pointed his forefinger to the door, "shut the door, will you?"

"Right, sorry..." he replied as he closed the door, "My mind's been slightly preoccupied as of late. My ex-wife is..." he gulped, a frown appearing on his face, "-engaged. She rung me last night."

Peter arched his eyebrows up at him. "Sorry, Eli. That must be hard." His words genuine. Peter had somehow grown fond of Eli Gold.

"No. I'm fine. We all need to move on. It's a good thing," he said with a slight nod of his head. "But, that is of no matter here today."

Eli placed the envelope on his desk. "Yes, Peter it's from the _PI._"

From Eli's serious tone, Peter gathered that nothing good would come from inside that envelope. He cleared his throat. "What's in it?"

Eli simply shrugged. "You should open it."

Something wasn't right he thought. _"Eli, what did the guy find out about __my__ wife?"_

Eli pressed his lips into a fine line and after long pause he said, "I'm sorry Peter," and slid the envelope towards him.

Taking it Peter broke the seal and took out a stack of black and white photographs of his wife and her lover.

_Will Gardener. _

He felt his stomach twist and turn with anxiety; the suspicions that he had for so long harbored about his wife's on-going affair with _that man _had finally turned out to be true. And that _truth_ stuck in his throat like an infected lump. And his mouth tasted of a sour, foul tasting bile.

Then, as if in slow motion he flipped through the photos; the glossy paper occasionally sticking to his now clammy palms. "Eli, get me another drink, will you?" He asked without taking his eyes off the photos.

Eli took his hands out of his pockets. "Sure thing," he said rather casually, trying to change the mood a bit. He walked towards the whisky decanter set. It was neatly positioned on an oval rose embellished serving tray on top of a maple wooden desk in the corner of the office.

Removing the lid from the crystal decanter bottle he tilted his head, as if he had just had an epiphany. "_Black and white photos, it's like we're back in the 40s-_" looking over his shoulder he arched his eyebrow, "_Right?_" he scoffed.

"The guy reckons it makes the photographs more...how did he put it..." he picked up the bottle and let the auburn liquid fill the glass, "Ha! He said that- _'black and white photographs engage the audience, challenging them to focus on the elements that actually matter. Like; joy, sadness, friendship and love. Whilst color – color photographs had the ability to trick its audience; like seeing things through rose colored glasses. Black and white stares you in the face.' _He said it had something to do with the texture; there are no distractions in a black and white photo – _'blunt and bold'._" He paused momentarily and dropped two ice cubes into the glass and shrugged. "Well it was something along those lines. But I think I delivered the gist of it. It was such a _bizarre _thing to say that it stuck in my mind. Not quite sure I understand it though. _Hmm_." He took the glass to Peter, placing it on a coaster on his desk and went to sit down on the one-seater couch in the corner of his office where he began to flip through a recent edition of 'Forbes'.

Peter put the photos down and took a long, hard sip of the cool, bitter liquid. Letting it burn and trickle down his throat. It felt so bad but so good at the same time.

His eyes were now focused straight ahead on the large geometric painting. It was usually a pleasant relief from the pasty, off-white wall that it hung off. But, today the pattern; small squares, big circles and even larger triangles made his head spin. He opened his desk draw and took out an aspirin bottle. Removing the lid, he popped two of the pills into his mouth, swallowing them dry. They caused some discomfort as they stuck to the back of his throat and then slowly dislodged but he didn't care – it was nothing compared to the nauseating sensation he was experiencing.

Eli put the magazine down and looked at Peter, his face serious now. "Peter – "he clasped his hands together, "snap out of it!" He got up and walked towards him. "Look, just talk to Alicia. You're her husband. You're the Governor for _Christ sake_."

Peter couldn't even fathom a response and instead he buried his face in the palms of his hands.

Seeing this Eli saw that his efforts were in vain. "Peter, maybe you should go home for today – I've got this covered."

With his hands still covering his face Peter spoke. "Just go Eli. Just leave." His voice husky and low.

Eli nodded. "Alright but if you need –" but Peter had already spun his chair right around.

He sat in deep silence gazing out of his large window and onto the world. He looked like he was in space- floating outside at his own accord; at his own pace. Eli decided to leave him to his thoughts and left, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Peter stared at the photographs which now lay spread across his office desk. And after the initial shock, he couldn't say he was at all surprised by what they revealed. But what he was surprised by, and what left him in a state of pain and complete distress was _the story that the photographs told_.

_Theirs were a story of –_

_Two work colleagues;_

_a story of friendship;_

_a story of a budding romance and of lust;_

_but most of all they told the story of two lovers. _

_"Lovers," _he whispered furiously. The sound of the word and the images that it brought with it stirred something horrible up inside of him. And he smashed his fist, hard on the wooden desk. Sucking in a thick breath of air he found himself seeing spots of blood splattered over some of the photos.

In his state of confusion and bewilderment he slumped into his chair and examined his hand. A small cut had appeared. He opened his bottom draw and got out a band aid. What was wrong with him? he thought. Eli was right, he should go home. But, then Alicia might be there. He had gotten into Chicago from Washington this morning and hadn't been back home yet. He had to come straight into the office this morning to finish off working on a deal that they had made at the conference. He had no idea what he would say to her. _He couldn't even think about it right now._

He held up one of the many photographs of the two lovers. Will was carrying her. He held her so very gently. Alicia had her arms wrapped tightly around her lover's neck; as if she was grabbing onto dear life.

He thought about what the private investigator had told Eli about black and white photography. He was right. The photographs were lifelike. The look in their eyes was unmistakable; they looked at one another with a fiery intensity and passion, so much so that when he stared for too long he could almost hear their breathing, their sighs and even _their moans_.

_The photographs exuded lust and sex_. Their grainy, immaculate detail made his eyes see big black blotches. He leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes.

Alicia had never looked at him like that – with such a burning desire. He felt jealously run through his veins. Jealously for the man who could give his wife something that he could never give her.

They had been having marriage troubles a long time ago. People seemed to assume that it had all started that evening when the notorious scandal of his sexual liaisons with hookers had been uncovered. Yes, that was what had torn at their marriage the most _– by far_. But that wasn't the entire truth. He and his wife looked like the perfect couple however, they were the complete opposite of perfection.

It had all begun with a photo. One single photo.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	17. Chapter 16 (Part 2)

**Chapter 16: The Story that the Photographs Told.**

**Part II: Chance Meeting**

* * *

_Summer, 2007_

It was late in the afternoon and the birds were chattering and the tree leaves rustled softly in the light breeze outside the Florrick's suburban, white-picket fenced house.

_Nothing was amiss, __everything was perfect. B__ut like Alicia's mother had once told her - "Sometimes, sweet-pea looks can be deceiving."_

Peter, red wine in one hand and a cigar in the other was sitting in his favorite arm-chair; nestled in the corner of the living room next to the large white framed window. He heard a click and a set of keys jiggling at the front door.

"Peter. It's just me," came Alicia's voice from the front entrance.

"In here babe," he replied, finishing the last of his wine.

Alicia carried the paper bags in and kicked the door closed with the heel of her black stiletto. "Yes. Peter. I'll be with you just after I put the groceries away."

Alicia had had a long, tiresome day.

She had got the kids off to school, ran the usual, tedious errands in town and went to have lunch with the wife of one of Peter's former, disgruntled employees. The man – a certain Mr J. Hamilton had seemed to have taken being let go, rather too personally. Peter had told her how Hamilton had somehow gotten passed security at the department and threatened to_ 'destroy'_ him at all costs. _'The man has obviously had a nervous breakdown or something of the sort. He should check himself into the nearest mental institution if you ask me,' _Peter had said; third whisky neat in hand. He had spoken spitefully but she could see that he was scared that Hamilton might actually destroy him. It was the nerves in his voice when he spoke and the shaking of his hands which gave him away. He had tried to talk face to face with the man – but Hamilton was the stubborn type. So Peter had asked Alicia if she would go and smooth out any differences between them which meant getting 'the wife' on her side.

Peter never told his wife what Hamilton had found out about him _that_ _would in fact destroy him. _And Alicia never asked. She did not want to know.

The woman, his wife – Mrs Betty Hamilton, was absolutely intolerable; she wore way too much perfume and talked non-stop about idle gossip. All the while Alicia found herself smiling politely and nodding whilst thinking about what she was going to prepare for dinner tonight. Yet, after a while she had found her mind wander from the _organic _topics of dinner, washing and cleaning. And began to remember how she had ran into –

_Will Gardner._

_It had happened in the Spring._

She had felt a rash of heat spread from her chest to her cheeks. She'd pressed a cool hand to her cheek - just the thought of him had made her blush.

Mrs Hamilton noticed this and had asked if anything was the matter – _"Are you alright Alicia? You're looking slightly peaky." _She had consoled her that she was fine and that it was no more than a head cold. The conversation had then turned to _that one time_ that Donald, her son had been rushed to the ER because what they thought to be a head cold turned out to be something rather serious.

Alicia had let her talk.

And had let her mind wander once more...

* * *

_XXX_

_Spring 2007_

Alicia loved the spring. The birds always seemed so happy, chirping and singing their pretty tunes and the flowers were magnificent in full bloom.

Everything was so ripe.

Upon entering the antique store,_ 'Sweet Nothings,'_ she felt a hand on her shoulder; a light, soft touch. Turning around, her breath caught in her chest and her heart stammered, beating wildly for the man who was standing just inches away from her.

Looking at Will Gardener she felt a bout of joy, excitement and desire swell through her veins and _pump at her core_. It was all so overwhelming that she thought she might faint. _He looked as handsome ever._ He wore a buttoned down sky blue shirt and charcoal trouser pants. His skin glowed, his eyes still the same soft brown that she remembered and his lips – the same cherry, plump red that she had kissed over and over again –_ like the humming bee which sucks all the nectar from a sweet flower._

_She felt her eyes burn._

"Alicia," he said, his eyes never leaving hers. And for a second it seemed like they were the only two in the antique store._ The only two people anywhere in this sometimes sad and lonely world._

It felt as if time had stopped for them.

"Alicia," he spoke again. "I thought it was you." _His voice was sugary sweet and made her heart melt._

"Will – it's been so long," she managed to say.

"Yes." He stood even closer now.

She gasped, _her eyes as wide as large apple rings, _as he took her hands in his.

"So very long," he said warmly, seeing the impact that his touch was having over her.

The onset of his touch did things to her – stirred her up inside like nothing else before.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Mrs Van Camp, an old, horrible woman eyeing them from across the street and realized how very close she was to Will. Hesitantly she slipped her hands out of his and took two steps back. Peter could never find out about this.

Will continued to look at her; wide-eyed, lips slightly parted. She wondered if he was feeling the same as her – the same strong feelings of want and need.

_He was._

She could see it in his face; his brown eyes had turned to a shade of auburn –_ the heat soaring deep within them._

"Will you come and have dinner with me tonight?" He asked in a low voice, almost a whisper.

"Will - I...I'm married." _(I don't care. Yes. Yes please)._

"Yes. I know." He averted his eyes to the floor. "Peter." His voice sore, hurt_- broken._

And after a long pause he spoke. "Isn't this store nice?"

He wanted to change the subject."Yes - lovely." It had been the first time she had been in there. She had been eyeing the little store for quiet sometime from across the street but had never made time to go in. But, today she had decided to forgo the shopping and treat herself.

"Yes, everything in here is so beautiful; so romantic." Her eyes scanned the room, then stopped upon seeing such a pretty little figurine of a lady. The sign below it read - _'Lady's from 19th century England collectible set (Get you figurine fortnightly here)'._

He followed her eyes. "Do you like it?"

"Yes, isn't she pretty? It would look perfect in my living room."

"Yes. It would make any room elegant. Let me get her for you?"

She looked back at him. His face so caring, so genuine. "Oh no, I couldn't possibly let you - "

"_Please_. Let me."

"Alright, thank you." It had been the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her.

He smiled appreciatively. "Thank you."

He walked over to the counter. "Yes, Sir what can I do for you today," came the shop assistance voice.

"Yes. I'll take the lady figurine over there please," he said pointing to the figurine.

"Yes of course. It's a gift, yes?" He asked smiling as he looked at Alicia. Will nodded, smiling. "I'll wrap it up for you then, shall I?"

"Yes, please. I'll wait. Let me know when it's ready."

He then walked back to her. She was standing, by the antique lamps, at the very back of the store; the bright lights making her dizzy, spell-bound even. She felt her palms grow clammy. "So what are you doing in Chicago?" She asked, trying to sound casual. But, her body betrayed her mind and her hands started to shake. She could feel his long, hard stare lingering over her – taking her in.

"I work here now." His voice husky. His eyes shifting to her trembling hands and back to her eyes.

She placed her hands behind her back. "Practicing law?" Her voice a quiver.

He smiled. "Yes, yes."

"Sir," came the shop assistants voice.

"Yes?" Will looked over his shoulder and saw that the gift had now been neatly gift wrapped. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." He winked at her.

_No. She never wanted to leave._

He handed her the figurine. It had been placed in a cream-white box which was decorated with pink laced bow. "This is ever so sweet of you Will. Thank you."

"Just promise you'll think of me when you look at it, yes?"

_Her heart ached._ "Yes. _Always_." She meant it. She didn't know how she could even think of anything else.

She placed it carefully in her hand bag then smiled back up at him. This was all so surreal that she didn't know what to do or say next. In her heart of hearts she wanted to take him in her arms and kiss him. But, she couldn't. It wasn't possible.

"So Law? And reaping in all the benefits I take it," she said, tilting her head past him and towards the vibrant red Porsche parked outside of the store.

"Ha, yes, I suppose so." He smiled, but it was a sad smile.

She pressed her lips into a fine line. "You have it all."

He looked up at her, an intent, fiery gaze. "No, not everything."

She swallowed hard. And found herself not able to shift her eyes away from his. _When he talked to her it was like she was in a romantic 1940s black and white movie_ (like how Katharine Hepburn would look at Spencer Tracey; such love and heart ache at the same time). _And it made her crazy; dazed and seeing large bright stars in front of her eyes._

Slowly he reached out and placed his hands on her forearms and looked at her with intention. _"You know what I've always wanted."_

Tears prickled at the back of her eyes. "Will. Sorry, I –" but before she could finish the sentence Alicia felt his arms wrap tightly around her. His warmth passed through her core and she felt his heart beating over hers; in perfect sync. She nestled her face into the crook of his neck and sobbed uncontrollably. Beads of salty tears mixed with mascara staining his perfectly creased blue-collar.

He held her tightly. "It's alright Alicia. _I'm here_."

In pain, her fingers gripped at the back of his shirt; crumpling the soft material._ She never wanted to let go._ It had been so long; so many years.

Someone hurrying past, bumped into them, beckoning Alicia back into the harsh strains of reality. "Will – I really must go." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I am sorry." And she frantically hurried out of the small store.

"Alicia, Alicia – " was the last thing she heard as she left.

When she got home that same day, she thought she needed something to calm her nerves. Peter could not see her in such a frantic state. And what better than a nice, hot bath with soothing lavender oils. Then, just as she was slipping off her skirt she felt something fall out of her pocket and onto the carpet.

She crouched down to pick it up. It was a small business card which read – _"Will Gardener. Attorney at Law. Stern, Lockhart & Gardener "_ The company's telephone number was printed at the bottom of the card. Turning the card over his cell number had been scrawled on the back.

Then, like a flash of light, it came to her. Will had placed it in her skirt pocket when they had embraced at the store. _Her heart sunk inside her chest._ But when had he written his number on the back? Had he seen her do her grocery shopping near by? Had he known that she would go there that day? God, this was _insane_; she would give herself a head rush at this rate. She was reading too much into it.

Just then she heard a car pull into the driveway. She checked the time on the large antique clock in her bedroom – 6.30 PM. It was Peter. Quickly she rushed over to where she had left her bag and put the card in her kiss lock coin purse.

"Honey, I'm home."

_Breathe._

_Just breathe Alicia._

* * *

XXX

The irritable ringing from her cell had forced her back into reality. It was Peter calling from work. "Just checking in," came his annoying sing-song tone.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you Peter," she had smiled at Mrs Hamilton and excused herself from the table. She hated it when he checked up on her. Not that he would admit to doing so. He called it _'being concerned'._

"I'm in the middle of lunch, what is it Peter?"

"Lunch? With who?" He had asked suspiciously.

"Mrs Hamilton – you asked me to –"

"Oh, right, yes sorry babe. Yes, thank you."

"Goodbye Peter," she had said firmly.

"See you tonight then?"

"Yes. Peter. I'm not going anywhere." But she remembered wishing she could run away – far away from this place.

After finishing her lunch with Mrs Hamilton, she had thanked her for the pleasant company and both of them had gone their separate ways promising to get together very soon. Which would not happen. At least she had managed to talk to her about her husband. Giving her a number of one of Peter's colleagues, who might give Hamilton a job at another department. Mrs Hamilton seemed thankful for this and consoled her that nothing more would come of it. Finally, she picked up Zac and Grace from school and dropped them off at Jackie's house. After which Peter had rung, for the second time, to tell her that they were out of milk and cereal.

* * *

XXX

Putting down the three large paper bags on the kitchen counter Alicia let out a long sigh of exhaustion. Leaning against the sink she looked at how red her palms and forearms had turned from the weight of the bags. _Christ, _she thought, he couldn't even help her bring in the groceries. All he did was work; 24/7. Not that she wasn't grateful, but he could help out once in a while.

And she – she was just the housewife, who apparently 'did nothing' as he had once put it when they were arguing_ – "You have everything. You don't work. And still you tell me that I don't help out enough? I mean what – you don't want to even do the house work or look after the kids? Must I do everything?" _She pressed her palm to her forehead, feeling the onset of a migraine coming on. Afterwards he had apologized, telling her that his words had been in anger, but she knew that he had meant them. For Peter a wife's role was and would always be in the kitchen.

As she finished packing away the groceries and wiping down the benches she got out a small box from the bottom of her Luis Vuitton handbag. Opening the box she pulled out a small figurine of a lady. She still went into 'sweet nothings' every fortnight to buy the lady figurines, in the hope of seeing _him _there again. Every time she entered the store she felt her heart beat forcefully against her chest, the butterflys in her stomach flapping their wings at an electric speed. But, her hopes were in vain because she had never seen him there again. She had kept the business card but couldn't seem to muster up the courage to the dial the number on the back. She was scared of what she might do when she finally spoke to him.

_She couldn't seem to control herself around him. _She held the figurine up to her chest and thought of their chance encounter. She hadn't felt so completely overwhelmed in so many years. For only those minutes she had been happy.

With the figurine in hand she walked into the living room, where Peter still sat, now re-reading this morning's newspaper. Greeting him, she gave him a light peck on the cheek. "How was your day then?" she asked with a tight smile.

"Fine, _fine. _Well actually do you remember that guy I was telling you about – Richardson..."

He continued on telling yet another one of his lame stories from the office. But all she heard was white noise. It was always the same old tale. How Tom, Dick or Harry forgot his wife's birthday or how they were sleeping with the maid. And that he felt sorry for their wives. Or if it wasn't that it was about how successful the meeting went today or _'honey, I'm still the favorite in the polls' (big grin)_. And it went on and on. _Always about him and his work. Selfish, _she thought.

Peter went back to his paper. "Oh, I almost forgot. How was your lunch with so and so's wife?"

Placing the figurine on the sleek white mantle piece she took a few steps back, admiring her collection. "Hmm?" Will had been right the figurines really did make any room look very impressive. He did have such an eye for the most delicate of things, she thought.

Upon hearing no response Peter peered up from his paper. "What's that hon?" He asked observing the new edition to their mantle piece. "Another figurine?"

"Yes." Alicia stared at the piece in endearment. The lady figurine had fair, porcelain skin, deep dark brown eyes and blood red lips. She wore an empire dress down to her ankles and light blue laced up ankle boots. She was looking down and her face was forlorn.

She looked so unbelievably sad.

Looking up at his wife, Peter couldn't stop himself from seeing the similarities between Alicia and the small, rather life-like doll.

She turned to face him. "What do you think? Isn't she just perfect?"

His eyes lingered over his wife. She wore a floral printed mid-waisted skirt, which sat just below her knees and a baby pink shirt tucked in, with a light blue apron tied to her waist– she was the ideal of picture of the perfect housewife. "No more than you my darling. You are by far the loveliest creature I have ever laid my eyes upon."

She rolled her eyes at this.

He chuckled. "Yes - I think she's beautiful darling."

He got up from the arm-chair and took her hands in his own.

She wished he wouldn't do that, she thought. But, not wanting to get into a fight she let him be.

Completely unaware of her distaste of his affections towards her, he squeezed her hands. "But, I do think that this is becoming a little habit of yours, hmm...?"

She felt her body stiffen. But lied with her lips. "You don't like them?"

"No on the contrary."

She looked down at the wooden floor boards of their living room. "Because I – I don't have to buy them if you –"

"No, hon, that's not what I meant." He wrapped his arms tenderly around her waist and looked into her beautiful brown eyes. And in the whirl wind of their depths, he saw the haunting sadness that had over the years grown and found a home there. Her face was pale. Sometimes it seemed like someone had robbed her of all the light in this world. He didn't understand why this was. She had always had everything she ever wanted.

He gently caressed her cheek. "I was just thinking that you should get out more. You know, meet some people."

She shrugged and looked at him sternly. "Yes, if _you_ think so," she said in her most obedient, telling tone. She was tired of playing house.

He knitted his eyebrows together, a sarcastic smirk plastered over his bold features. "If_ I_ think so? What's that supposed to mean?"

Alicia frantically pushed him away and went to sit on the floral imprinted arm-chair that had belonged to her great-grandmother. She had always loved that chair. Not particularly because of the wonderful design and immaculate craftsmanship but because of who it had belonged to. Her grandmother had been a woman of great principle. _A spinster _they had used to call her. People thought she had never married because she was too selfish and proud. In fact her mother had once told her that she had refused to get married because she knew what it could do to a woman. _'They pin you down and lock you up. Your life revolves around them. You live to serve them,' _her grandmother had told her mother. Alicia remembered laughing at the time. But now – _now she didn't find it in the least bit amusing._

She folded her arms over her chest and crossed her legs. "You know very well what I mean Peter. I wanted to continue working. I wanted to have a career as well. I studied law at Georgetown for _Christ sake_! But, no you wouldn't stand for the children to have a nanny. You said it would be hard on them. But, we both know that that wasn't the entire truth, now was it?" She spat, her eyes brooding into him.

Irritated, he ran his fingers through his thick black hair. "_Well, what?_ You wanted them to grow up with a complete stranger? Do you think that would have been better Alicia?"

"Of course not Peter. But, we could have done things differently. We would have made time for them. And you know it." She pointed her index finger at him. "No Peter. This was about you. You wanted me by your side at the luncheons and the press conferences. You wanted to make me your perfect housewife. And you know what –" she let out a nervous laugh before continuing, "you have Peter. You most certainly have. _I mean look at me!" _She fisted the arm rests. Her face red with pain, sadness and regret.

Peter gulped, staring at her. Her face was flushed red, tears prickling at the back of her eyes. He took a long sigh and walked over to her, an apologetic look spread across his features. But Alicia got up and moved away. "Alicia, I'm the states attorney. I thought we were a team."

She just looked at him spitefully while trying to undo her apron. But the knot was tied too tightly at the back. "You just don't get it do you Peter?" She shook her head, her fingers still tackling the knot. "I'm not _team Florrick _Peter! I'm your wife_ dammit!"_

He went to her. "No, Peter- _don't_. I can untie a _damn_ apron on my own. I do _not_ need your help."

She walked over to the TV cabinet and pulled out a pair of scissors from a small knitting box. Frantically, she cut the thin string of the apron. "There!" She yanked the apron off and threw it onto the floor.

Peter just stood there looking wide eyed with concern at his wife of 8 years. This was indeed, he thought, a displeasing side to his wife. "Alicia. What's gotten into you? This isn't like you at all."

She ignored this and walked right up towards him and looked him straight in the eye. "You don't know me." She tucked a stray strand of her behind her hair. Her face burning red. "You-you..." she started but all of a sudden forgot what it was she was about to say; like something had come over her. Standing there she realized that she was completely alone in this world. Staring back at her with his still, clear blue eyes he seemed so distant; _so very distant._

And the fury and anger ran out of her and she felt, somehow very exhausted. "You really don't know me – _never really have."_

_I don't even know myself anymore..._

* * *

**_To be continued..._**


	18. Chapter 16 (Part 3)

**Chapter 16: The Story that the Photographs Told**

**Part III: Sorrow & Regret**

_- Thank you for the warm reviews - _

* * *

_Summer 2007__ (Continuation)_

She burst out of the living room and ran upstairs into the bedroom, slamming the large door behind her. Tears rolled down her burning cheeks, smudging her onyx mascara. She sat down on the edge of the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. She dried her tears with the palm of her hand and wiped them on her skirt, staining it with black blotches of mascara. She didn't care. It didn't matter; _none of it did. _She felt so miserably sad.

Peter wasn't completely to blame. She had conformed to this lifestyle. She could have very well left Peter but she wanted to create a sense of stability and teach her children the importance of family. Her mother, Veronica, had divorced when she was very young and lived vicariously; drinking, smoking and men were here _three weaknesses._ She brought a different man into her bed every couple of months or so. _"Well, it's not really my fault that men just seem to flock to my bed,"_ she would say whilst taking a long, slow drag from her cigarette with one hand and nursing a glass of red in the other. But, Alicia on the other hand wanted better for her children, even though it meant sacrificing her own happiness. Yet, it had gotten to a point where she was feel stifled; suffocated and trapped. Even the children had started to pick up on it. Just a few weeks ago Zac, who was just shy of 8 years old had asked her if she was alright. "Why wouldn't I be sweetheart?" she had asked, squeezing his little hand. And he had responded - "Because you look sad." _Christ _she thought – what a mess. She had not wanted things to turn out this way.

She got up, straightening her prim skirt and walked over to her night stand. Crouching down she opened the last draw and fished out a packet of Marlboro _silvers, ultra-lights _cigarettes and a bright red lighter. Just last week she had caught the maid smoking in the house; music blasting in the background, cigarette in one hand and the hoover in the other. She had been completely furious –_ "You will put that out right this minute! Or it will cost you your job, do you hear?!"_ The girl - a Miss Poppy Harper - an attractive, perky girl in her mid 20s had quickly turned off the stereo and sworn to never smoke again. _"I am very sorry Ma'am. It won't happen again."_ Alicia had taken the packet of Marlboro's along with the lighter off her and placed them in her night stand draw, never thinking that she would actually smoke one (well not consciously anyway). She had told Peter about it and he had looked at her rather startled and somewhat disapprovingly– _"And you just took them from her? I would've fired her on the spot!"_ But, truthfully she hadn't cared so much.

Peter didn't know that she had ever smoked. Well how could he have? She always hid it from him, knowing that he disapproved of women smoking – _'absolute turn off'_ he had commented about one of her friends who was a total chain smoker in college. For Alicia smoking during college had been a casual thing – which would only happen after a long day, followed by a long night and _usually..._Will showing up at her room. She remembered how they would walk down to the bleachers, hand in hand with a packet of smokes and a bottle of red.

Sitting down on the cool, hard benches he would take a cigarette, place it in between his velvet, wet lips and light it before passing it to her. Smoking and drinking they would talk of things past, present and of what might be; hopes and dreams. After which they would stumble back to her room (or was it his? Usually which ever one was closet).

* * *

_With a boyish grin on his face he put on some indie music ('Nights in White Satin', Moody Blues) and started singing along with the music. Sitting down crossed legged against the bed she tilted her head back as she let out a laugh. Smiling sweetly at her, he turned off the light with a switch of the flip and opened the pale green curtains, allowing the soft dim of the moon light seep through. He sat by her side, his eyes looming with a deep, heated passion for her. And with the music playing in the background and his breath on the nape of her neck she felt her heart stammer wildly against her chest; so much so that it felt as if it was going to break out. __  
_

_"Nights in white satin, never reaching the end,  
Letters I've written, never meaning to send.  
Beauty I've always missed, with these eyes before.  
Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore._

_'Cos I love you, yes I love you,_  
_Oh how I love you, oh how I love you..."_

_Without even realizing it she had closed the gap between them and his mouth was covering her own, his hands fumbling with her bra strap underneath her pink tank top. Sighing she massaged and sucked on his tongue - long, deep strokes. He tasted so unbelievably good. The somewhat minty taste of the cigarettes coupled with red wine indulged her senses and made her mind spin to no end. She dragged her hands through his thick brown hair as she felt her breasts become free of the confines of her bra. He was kissing her all over now, his hands delicately moving up and down her spine as he brought her closer to him. And she never wanted this moment to end._

_"...cold hearted orb  
That rules the night  
Removes the colours  
From our sight  
Red is gray and  
Yellow white  
But we decide  
Which is right  
And  
Which is an Illusion"_

* * *

She drew back the curtains and opened the large white framed window. She heard the TV on downstairs. Peter was probably watching the game. Leaning out, she took out a cigarette and lit it before placing it in between her thick, blood red lips. Taking a drag, she looked out onto the evening twilight. The mixture of the dewy pink sky and the smoke sliding down her throat and filling her lungs, soothed her. Making her feel calmer, more peaceful and somewhat _sensual_.

Every now and then she flicked the ash from the cigarette out of the window. From a distance she could see two lovers making out on a park bench.

* * *

_Georgetown, Penultimate Year_

_Giddy as a teenager, she sat on Will's lap on the park bench. He squeezed her waist before pecking her on the tip of her nose. The birds were chirping merely in the trees and the sun beamed down on them. _

_She covered his hands with hers. "I had such a great day, thank you."_

_"Well I wished we could have gone out to dinner at that new restaurant that opened up in town but you – "_

_She gulped. "Will. If Peter found out..."_

_"I want him to find out. I'm tired of all this secrecy." Stolen kisses wasn't enough. He wanted more. He wanted her completely – body and soul. He didn't understand why she wouldn't break up with Peter. She didn't seem happy when she was with him; just polite. And when he talked or joked with other girls she saw how it hurt her; how jealously and sadness would swell up in her big, beautiful eyes. He knew she felt the same as he did. Otherwise she wouldn't keep coming back to him. _

_She wiggled on his lap so that she could see his face. "Not yet. Please give me some time."_

_She was now sitting on her side in his lap. He brushed her wavy brown her to one side and placed a soft kiss on the hollow of her neck. "I just want us to be together."_

_The onset of his touch made her feel completely and utterly dumbfounded. She tilted her head to the side, to allow him better access. "But we are," she said her voice low, cracking with desire for him._

_He placed butterfly kisses along her collar bone and up her neck. Pressing his soft lips to her ear, he heard her breath catch in her chest. "You know what I mean." She tilted her head backwards and let out a soft sigh. "I want you all," he whispered. _

_And h__e did. Sometimes he felt so consumed with love for her that he found it hard to breathe. __He kissed her with a fever, thrusting his tongue inside her mouth and letting it mate with hers. _

_His body pressed into hers like that felt so good; so right. And at that very moment she had no idea how she had ever doubted being with him. She liked Peter, but that was all it was. She loved Will, he had been her first love. Her first everything. __After what seemed like hours, Alicia__ broke the kiss._

_Her eyes flashed open and she arched her eyebrow. "I have an idea," she said as she got up and took his hand in hers. She pulled him to the tree right next to where they had been sitting. He stood behind her, watching her as she got a stick and starting carving something into the tree trunk, a grin spreading across her face._

**_ "A & W"_**

_She then turned to look at him, her eyes filled with love and heart ache. How could someone so young, so full of life have so much pain, he thought. He knelt in front of her and took her in his arms. "I love you," he whispered._

* * *

She was now on her third cigarette and the smoke was stinging her eyes, making them water. Was it that, or were they tears? She wasn't sure. She wiped away the small drops of salty water that now slid down her cheeks with the palm of her hand. _God Dammit!_ If only she hadn't bumped into him last Spring, she thought. She took one last drag of the cigarette, letting the end purposefully burn her bottom lip and closed her eyes. She knew, well enough (even if she didn't care to admit it) that the cause of her feelings of sorrow and regret hadn't been because of their chance meeting in the antique store that Spring. She had for a long time pinned for him; had for too many years lost sleep over him. Wishing for a life she could have had. A life where he accepted her for who she was and she him.

No. There brief encounter in the store had only made her burn even brighter for him.

Vicariously, she chucked the cigarette butt out of the window. If Peter found them no doubt Poppy would get the blame. She chuckled at this before covering her mouth with a gasp. This wasn't at all like her she thought. Or was it? Looking out onto the dull, grey sky she felt a shiver ripple through her body and she wrapped her arms around herself.

* * *

**_To be continued..._**


	19. Chapter 16 (Part 4)

**Chapter 16: The Story that the Photographs Told**

**Part IV: The Box**

* * *

_Summer 2007 (Continuation)_

As Alicia was about to sit back down on the bed she felt the back of her foot touch something. Kneeling down on the beige carpet she saw a small, silver lined box with a heart padlock. It was shoved in between a storage box to one side and a large LV suitcase to the other. She recognized the LV; it was Peter's moms. She retrieved the box and sat down on the edge of the bed. Cradling it in her hands, a smile crept up on her face. She had had this box since she was at college. Looking down at it fondly she skimmed its soft edges with her hands. She remembered putting everything that was dear to her into the box. She opened the bottom draw of her bedside table and fished out a gold key which was hidden inside a small sewing box. Placing the key into the small heart shaped padlock she opened it.

* * *

Her eyes grew wide as she found herself staring at a photo of her and _Will _at the fresher's law ball. She wore an electric mid night blue halter-neck dress with a string of pearls around her neck. And he had on a navy blue suit with a rogue pin striped tie. They looked so happy in the photo. She had her arm around his shoulder and a glass of pink bubbly in the other. He was looking at her sweetly, as he always did. They had become such great friends and she confided in him for just about everything.

She brought the photo up and looked at it closely. She hadn't noticed it then but now she saw that his hand was curled around her waist and her body was pressed warmly into his side.

She remembered seeing him in the antique store. He had looked just as he did in this photo – ever so handsome. And when she had felt the tears swell up in her eyes, making them red and wet, he had taken her in his arms, comforting her. They knew and understood each other so well that in the most delicate situations there were no need for words. Not, like Peter, he never really understood her; _never really saw her. _She placed the photo back in the box and fell back onto the soft bed.

* * *

Closing her eyes she remembered how during a warm summers evening in their final year at Georgetown they had finally given into temptation. That night her deep-seated desire and longing for him had come true; her wildest dreams and fantasies beckoning into reality and liberating her. Pursing her velvet lips together, she felt herself blush as she recalled how he used to kiss her so tenderly and ever so passionately. _Tasting her bottom lip first then her top lip before covering his mouth over hers. Their tongues would thrust and intertwine like a dance._ She felt herself wrap her arm over her stomach. _He would suck at the skin on the hollow of her neck until she saw stars in her eyes. _Imaging that he was there with her she ran her fingers through her thick wavy hair. She wanted to feel his warm, electric body pressing into her own. _And when she spread her legs out for him she would moan into his mouth; his name on the tip of her tongue. Their breathing, their movements in perfect sync – perfection._

"Alicia," came a knock on the bedroom door. It was Peter. She covered her mouth so as not to gasp.

"Peter...I want to be alone please." Fearful that he would come in she frantically placed the photo back in the box, shut the lid, chucked it underneath the bed before placing the small key in the pocket of her skirt.

"Honey, I'm sorry. Can I come in?"

"No Peter, I just want to be by myself. Can you at least respect that?"

"Alicia. C'mon let me in. I said I was sorry. I don't like seeing you like this."

"Like what Peter?" The truth was that he didn't like seeing this side of her. He preferred the _domesticated _side.

"_What?_" his somewhat confused voice echoed through the oak door. "Upset _ofcourse_."

She wasn't upset. She was _miserable _and so very tired of playing the perfect housewife. It wasn't who she was. "You don't even know me," she said in a very low voice, almost a whisper as she turned and looked out of her window and at the starry night's sky; the darkness _infecting _her eyes – making her think of things she should not.

She curled her fingers on the windows ledge, steadying herself. "I'm fine Peter. Please just leave me be. Just for tonight."

After a long pause he spoke again. "Fine. I'll go and stay at my mom's house for tonight...call me if you need anything."

She closed the long emerald green drapes. It consoled her a little that there would be no more confrontations – at least for tonight. Owen had taken the kids for the night and she wasn't ashamed to say that she was grateful for it. The house was as peaceful as it had ever been for some time now.

* * *

Walking over to her dressing table she sat down and looked into the mirror. She was still in her prime, she shouldn't be at home at 7pm on a Friday night. She pinched her cheeks until they turned a nice rose in color. Then she gently brushed her hair and put on a dark shade of red lipstick. Hearing the car pull out of the driveway she went to the window and peaked out of the curtain to make sure that the he had left. Upon seeing the last of the car tail lights disappear into the night, she went to her wardrobe and picked out a dress. She slipped into a dark blue bandaged dress. Looking at her reflection in the mirror she adjusted her cleavage to the best of her advantage. Then put on some black Armani heels (her favorite). She went to her bag and pulled out her kiss lock coin purse. She felt her hands start to shake as she opened it and took out the business card that Will had placed in her pocket whilst at the antique store.

_She had wanted this for so long. _

* * *

Alicia walked downstairs and into the kitchen where the phone was. A hundred and one butterflies migrated in her stomach, flapping their horrid little wings. Biting down on her bottom lip she dialed the number which was scrawled at the back of the card.

"Hello?" Came a man's voice.

Then again – "_Hello?_"

Nervously she curled her hand around the side of her neck. "Hello...hi."Her voice was strangely pitched on account of the bout of nerves and excitement she was feeling.

"Yes?"

She could feel her face go red and her palms grow clammy. "Will. It's Alicia," she said in one single breath.

Long pause.

"I've been waiting for you to call me." His voice was as smooth as velvet and she felt her head spin.

She twirled the plastic red cord of the phone around her index finger. "You have?" She asked, a seductive smile spreading across her face.

She could hear his breathing through the speaker. "Yes."

Her heart began to flutter non stop.

_"I've been waiting for you all my life."_

* * *

Peter was some half an hour from home when he remembered that he forget his mother's brown leather LV suitcase. She had lent it to them sometime ago when he and Alicia took the kids to Disneyland. His mum had been breathing down his neck about it as of late. She was going on a short trip next weekend with some of the ladies from one of her many foundations.

He made a quick U-turn on the road and headed back home.

* * *

_**To be continued...**_


	20. Chapter 16 (Part 5)

Chapter 16 (Part V)

_Summer 2007 (continued)_

All of a sudden it got stuffy in the car. Peter rolled down the window and loosened his tie. He leaned back on his black leather seat; one hand on the wheel and his arm resting on the window. He felt the sweet, dewey summer breeze smooth over the lines on his face. Sucking in a deep breath Peter thought about what had had happened that evening with Alicia. He really didn't have a clue what had gotten into her. One minute she was fine and the next she was mad. He felt his hands curl tighter around the smooth black steering wheel. He didn't even know why she had been so furious. She was usually such a docile creature; a good wife and mother. They had had their ups and downs but nothing too out of the ordinary. But, tonight it was different; tonight she had been different.

Rolling into the driveway he saw that her car (midnight blue Lexus) wasn't there. She had probably gone to stay with her brother Owen. He had always been suspicious of Owen; he was always planting ideas into her head. With a turned off the ignition and pressed the garage door button. Sitting there in darkness and silentness he let out a sigh of relief. Well at least this way he didn't have to face her again tonight he thought. After what had been several minutes of pondering whether or not to call her from his cell, he decided against it and got out of the car and entered the house. It's not that he didn't want to resolve things with her but, well - he didn't really know what to say. He had always been a good provider, always given her and the kids everything; what more did she want? Yes, he wasn't the easiest person to be with sometimes and he had thought it best that she be a stay at home mom but was that – _was that selfish of him to insist on that? _

With a hand on the fine wooden railing of the stair case he climbed up to their bedroom. he stood at the front of the room which was closed, staring at the off-white door he felt a twitch in his chest as if nervous to what he might find in there. Questions buzzed through his mind - could she still be at home; should he knock first; was she alone. He gulped at that last thought. What a crazy idea he thought. knitting his brow together in ignored these thought and flung the door wide open.

* * *

He was struck by the smell of – he stuck his head in the air like a dog and sniffed – of perfume and.._tobacco_? He wrinkled his nose. Couldn't be, he thought. He walked towards the bed. He had never seen Alicia smoke a day in her life. Kneeling down to reach for the bag underneath the bed he saw a small box. This had been the box that he had tried, he was ashamed to say, break into a few years back. Sliding it out he placed it on the bed. The lock was open and it looked like it had been hastily closed; it's contents simply laying underneath for prying eyes to revel in their contents. He knew that the right thing to do was to put the box back, but something inside of him was telling him to open it. And with one swift motion he flipped the lid open, letting the contents of the little box fall prey to his intrigued mind. He smiled when he saw the Barbie doll and he laughed soft-heartedly upon seeing the friendship ring he had given to Alicia on their third date. Kids stuff, he thought. He had won it for her at a fair. Putting it down on the carpet he looked back to the box and that's when his eyes grew wide.

It was a photo of his wife and _him_ – _Gardner. _His heart stammered hard against his chest as he sat against the bed looking at the photo.

_Why would his wife of 10 years keep a photo of – Will Gardner._

His arm was placed softly around her waist. Her body pressed into his side. His eyes were all on her; not even looking at the camera. And although she was smiling, her lips were pursed together; pink flush on her cheeks.

He let the photo fall to the floor and cupped his face in his hands.

_The answer was all too simple. _

* * *

___Present day_

Peter picked up the receiver. "Alicia. We need to talk."

She seemed flustered. "Peter, I have so much on I really can't -"

Frantically he ran his fingers through his thick black hair. "Alicia. It's important. It really can't wait."

"Yes, well neither can my work."

He began to pace, the cord of the old telephone stretching wide. "Please. We'll have dinner."

He heard her sigh. "Yes, fine. 9?"


End file.
